Free Lost Dreams by Jude Ouvrard Page B

to building his family with the love of his life, Avery.
    It felt bittersweet to me. I wanted that too, but I knew it wasn't possible. I had lost her. I'd lost the girl I loved. I tried moving on but I just couldn’t seem to do it. I wasn't able to say goodbye. No matter how stupid and wrong it made me feel, I still had hope that one day she was going come back to me.
    Our story wasn’t over - she just didn’t know it yet.

13.
October 7th, 2007
Avery
    S aying goodbye to Megan's mother wasn't an easy thing. She'd stayed with Megan and Juliet for almost a month and they'd had a good time. I sometimes tried to leave them alone so they could enjoy their time as a family, but Megan's mom, Josie, always found a way to include me in their plans. We got along great and I was definitely going to miss her.
    I had just dropped Megan off at her house. It was very early in the morning, the sun was barely up. My body was tired so I decided to make it a lazy day and jumped back into bed. The house was cleaned and all my chores were done, so I figured I deserved it.
    I didn’t even take the time to undress, heading back to bed still wearing my skirt and shirt.
    I closed my eyes and immediately felt myself drifting away. My thoughts were centered on Carter. His smile and eyes were my guarantee against bad dreams. He was keeping them away.
    ~~~*~~~
    I n my dream, I was back in my combat uniform, deployed in what looked like Afghanistan. I hadn’t been there since 2003. The memories were so clear and real in my head. Carter and Remy were not even thinking about Special Forces at that time. We were just enjoying our life as soldiers and were always ready for additional training, even though the extra training usually kicked my ass big time. I didn’t want to be treated differently because I was a woman, but I knew that at some point, they wouldn’t allow me to go any further in my career.
    The looks Carter would give me every time our eyes met, and his touches every time we crossed paths set me on fire. We were getting more serious in our relationship and the sexual tension between us was getting harder to control. We weren't allowed to have sex while deployed. I knew some personnel were disregarding the rules but I was very serious when it came to regulations, and I didn’t want to defy this one. I was tempted constantly because Carter did everything he could think of, to test me. He would write erotic letters, or whisper the hottest suggestions I had ever heard in my ear. Falling in love with him was the easiest thing I'd ever done. My life made sense when we were together, he completed me.
    Remy was being the nicest friend to me. He was always helping me and giving advice. His presence in my life became one of the most important relationships I had. We had built a great chemistry, we understood each other. We connected. Sometimes, I would catch him looking at me, as if he was blindsided. He was the best at making me feel special. Carter was doing it too, but he was more like a protector. I was his precious diamond which he didn’t want to lose, while Remy was the one treating me good and always complimenting me. There wasn't a big difference between the two men, but there was one.
    After that deployment, I knew I would spend the rest of my life with Carter. We finally made love for the first time. I didn’t know where I had found the strength to wait all this time. We were love birds, nobody could separate us.
    I loved him so much.
    I was slowly awakened by the sun peeking into my room. I felt relaxed and happy. My mind was no longer playing tricks on me and I was able to sleep and have good dreams. Some of them were just a reminder of my life. Events that I liked to revisit once in a while.
    My phone rang, making me flinch. I got up as fast as I could and ran to the kitchen where I had left the phone. I answered.
    ''Avery, you sound out of breath.'' Carter's laugh made my insides melt.
    ''Babe, how are you doing?''
    ''I’m good.