Free To All the Boys I've Loved Before by Jenny Han Page B

with the weird eye, and now Peter again.
    I open my eyes and Peter’s staring at me with that same expression on his face. Very sincerely I say, “Thank you.” He replies, “You’re welcome,” and I hop out of his arms and sprint off in the opposite direction.
    * * *
    It takes all of history class and most of English for my heart rate to slow down. I kissed Peter Kavinsky. In the hallway, in front of everybody. In front of Josh.
    I didn’t think this thing through, obviously. That’s what Margot would say, including and especially the “obviously.” If I had thought it through, I would have made up a boyfriend and not picked an actual person. More specifically, I would not have picked Peter K. He is literally the worst person I could have picked, because everybody knows him. He’s Peter Kavinsky, for Pete’s sake. Kavinsky of Gen and Kavinsky. It doesn’t matter that they’re broken up. They’re an institution at this institution.
    I spend the rest of the day hiding out. I even eat my lunch in the girls’ bathroom.
    My last class of the day is gym. With Peter. Coach White gives us a reintroduction to the weight room, and we have to practice using the machines. Peter and his friends already know how to use them, so they separate off fromthe group and have a free-throw contest, and I don’t get a chance to talk to him. At one point he catches me looking at him and he winks, which makes me want to shrivel up and die.
    After class is over, I wait for Peter outside the boys’ locker room, planning out what I’m going to say, how I’m going to explain it. I’ll start out with, “So about this morning . . . ,” and then I’ll give a little laugh, like how hilarious was that!
    Peter’s the last one to come out. His hair is wet from a shower. It’s weird that boys take showers at school, since girls never do. I wonder if they have stalls in there, or just a bunch of shower heads and no privacy.
    “Hey,” he says when he sees me, but he doesn’t stop.
    To his back I hurriedly say, “So about this morning . . .” I laugh, and Peter turns around and just looks at me.
    “Oh yeah. What was that all about?”
    “It was a dumb joke,” I begin.
    Peter crosses his arms and leans against the lockers. “Did it have anything to do with that letter you sent me?”
    “No. I mean, yes. Tangentially.”
    “Look,” he says kindly. “I think you’re cute. In a quirky way. But Gen and I just broke up, and I’m not in a place right now where I want be somebody’s boyfriend. So . . .”
    My mouth drops. Peter Kavinsky is giving me the brush-off! I don’t even like him, and he’s giving me the brush-off. Also, “quirky”? How am I “quirky”? “Cute in a quirky way” is an insult. A total insult!
    He’s still talking, still giving me the kind eyes. “I mean, I’mdefinitely flattered. That you would like me all this time—it’s flattering, you know?”
    That’s enough. That’s plenty enough. “I don’t like you,” I say, loudly. “So there’s no reason you should feel flattered.”
    Now it’s Peter’s turn to look taken aback. He quickly looks around to see if anyone heard. He leans forward and whispers, “Then why did you kiss me?”
    “I kissed you because I don’t like you,” I explain, like this should be obvious. “See, my letters got sent out by someone. Not me.”
    “Wait a minute. ‘Letters’? How many of us are there?”
    “Five. And the guy I do like got one too—”
    Peter frowns. “Who?”
    Why should I tell him anything? “That’s . . . personal.”
    “Hey, I think I have a right to know, since you pulled me into this little drama,” Peter says with a pointed look. I suck in my top lip and shake my head and he adds, “If there even really is a guy.”
    “There is so a guy! It’s Josh Sanderson.”
    “Doesn’t he go out with your sister?”
    I nod. I’m surprised he even knows this. I didn’t think Josh and Margot would be on his radar. “They’re broken up