out.â
âYou did great tonightâI got some good stuff to edit down for these college applications.â
âThanks, Dad.â Justin picked at the blue plaid comforter heâd had on his bed since he was about six.
âSomething bothering you?â His dad came in and sank into Justinâs desk chair.
âItâs just thatâwell, I was really missing Mom tonight,â Justin admitted. âI remember telling her dudes donât get bouquets of roses . . . â
â . . . and sheâd bring them every time anyway!â his dad finished with a small laugh. âShe really got into your performances.â
âAnd the practices. And the costumes. And the pictures. I think she had that camera surgically implanted in her hand!â Justin smiled, remembering.
âSheâs at your shows in spirit,â his dad reminded him.
âNow you sound like those old ladies at church,â Justin groaned. âI feel her spirit, but Iâd rather have her here.â He played with his braids. â And her flowers!â
âMe too, Justin. Me too.â
The silence between them was accentuated by the relentless rain outside. It was still so hard to talk about her, especially to his dad. It was like if he talked to his father about his mom, he made his dad even sadder. Itâd been an entire year since that damn phone call, a year since the police had told them thereâd been an accident. A stormy night. A drunk driver. And his mom was gone. So completely not fair.
âCan I ask you something, Dad?â Justin asked after a few minutes.
âSure.â
âGirls are so complicated.â
âThatâs the question? Sounds like youâve got that one figured out already.â
âNah, I donât understand them at all.â
âCan you give me a for-instance?â
âWell, one of the girls at the studioâyou know Diamond, right?â
âYes, the one with the pretty hair and smile. Youâve done duets with her a couple of times, havenât you?â
âYeah, sheâs fine, but thatâs not why I mention her. She, like, ran away or got kidnapped or something.â
His father sat up straight. âOh my God! How did that happen?â
âWeâre not sure. You know how girls gather in groups and gossip. They were huddling all evening. I stay around the edges and try to keep up.â
His father nodded. âI feel you there.â
âBut the bottom line is, Diamond didnât show up for the performance tonight. She sent her friend a text that said she was trying out for a part in some movie, and she went off with some strange guy. Nobody has heard anything from her since.â
âIs this a girl you have feelings for, Justin?â
âNo. I mean, I like her all right, but sheâs not special like that. I just donât get how girls can be so dumb.â
âAh. Let me go dig out my book called Why Women Do Stuff .â
âYou need to write it, Dad. Guys my age could use it.â
âThe whole thing would be two hundred blank pages, kiddo. The real answer is, nobody knows!â
âYeah, like Layla . . . â
âPoor kid, she had a rough night,â his father commented.
âYou saw her mess up?â
âShe covered it quicklyâvery professionally, I thought.â
âSheâs such a good dancer, but she doesnât think so.â Justin sat up and let his long legs hang over the edge of the bed.
âHow do you know?â his dad asked.
âNo matter what compliment somebody gives her, she always talks down about herself.â
âConfidence problem?â
âItâs more than that, Dad. Sheâs, like, really, really beautiful, but I donât think she sees that when she looks in the mirror.â
âWhat does she see?â
âSomebody overweight and not good enough.â
âNot
Learning to Kill: Stories