open, huge and alarmed. Unfocused and confused. And then they found me and her face crumpled. A howl of misery escaped from her throat.
âI want to forget. I want to forget all of it, Kenna.â She choked on the words and began to cough and cry at the same time. She curled into the fetal position and hid her face in the pillow as her body was wracked with sobs, each one a tiny, desperate shriek.
I swallowed a taste like acid from my mouth.
The nurse administered a sedative through Erinâs IV, and a moment later my sisterâs torment faded as she slipped back into unconsciousness. I hoped she wouldnât dream again. I hoped sheâd find some way to forget, even though I knew that was impossible.
The nurse left with an admonition that I needed to let Erin rest, and I turned to face my mom. I felt exposed, a hunted animal that has run out of cover. Sweat beaded on my forehead, slicked my spine, but my teeth chattered and my skin shriveled against the air, like Iâd stepped inside a freezer unit.
My eyes found my momâs, and I saw in them the knowledge of what I was about to say.
âItâs happening again.â
Her expression showed no surprise, only dismay. It was like sheâd been waiting for me to say the words. Still, it shocked me when she ripped off the tape keeping her IV needle flat to her wrist and then carefully slid the needle from her arm.
âWe need to get out of this hospital,â she said. âIs Blake still here?â
I averted my eyes and shook my head. âI told him to leave. I was afraid I wouldââ I didnât finish. Didnât need to.
âCall him,â she told me. âTell him to come right away and pick us up. Not at the front entrance, though. We need to leave without being seen. Thereâs an exit along the side of the hospital.â She set the IV tubing aside and plucked at her hospital gown. âAnd ask him to bring me some of his momâs clothes.â
Â
T HE R OAD TO S OMEWHERE
I peeked my head out the side exit and glanced left to right in the alley where Blake had parked. There were some delivery guys at a loading dock farther toward the back of the building, but they werenât paying attention. Other than them, we were alone.
âAre you okay?â Blake asked, climbing out of his 4Runner, his brow so deeply furrowed I thought he might develop permanent worry lines by the time this was all overâif it were ever over. At least he seemed to have forgiven me for yelling at him in the cafeteria and sending him away.
âNot really,â I admitted. I was past the point where lying would do me any good. I met his eyes. It wasnât easy. âThanks for coming back,â I said.
He nodded, and I held the door open for my mom, who still wore her hospital gown and a white bathrobe.
âBlake,â she said in greeting.
âHi, Anya,â Blake said, an uncomfortable smile flickering on his lips. My mom insisted Blake call her by her first name, even though Blake was a staunch believer in calling all adults Mr. or Ms.
Blake looked past my mom. âWhereâs Erin?â he asked.
I hadnât had time to explain much to Blake over the phone.
âSheâs staying,â my mom answered curtly, ending the inquiry. Sheâd left a note for Erin with a vague explanation that weâd gone out to âget a few things.â Our sudden departure was sure to raise alarms among the police and hospital staff, but Mom assured me that it was imperative we leave as soon as possible, and I couldnât disagree with her.
âWhere to?â Blake asked when Mom and I were huddled in the backseat beneath a blanket so the reporters wouldnât spot us as we drove away.
âTake the Alta Highway into the mountains,â Mom said. âIâll tell you where to go once we reach the summit.â
âOkayâ¦â There was uncertainty in his voice, but he did as he was