The Blackbirds

Free The Blackbirds by Eric Jerome Dickey

Book: The Blackbirds by Eric Jerome Dickey Read Free Book Online
Authors: Eric Jerome Dickey
What’s the point of being with a woman acting like a man, when there are men?”
    â€œI’m right here. Have some respect.”
    Destiny said, “I get hit on all the time, especially since I started rocking on two wheels. The power of the CBR. My derriere is always in the air. Guys holla, but a lot of girls come at me too. Married women are the worst. They are aggressive. They pull up next to me at red lights and flirt the hardest, have that
hotel, motel, Holiday Inn
look in their eyes. They’d cheat on their man and go down on me in a minute. They think
CBR
means ‘
coochie be ready’
for them to play with or something.”
    Kwanzaa had her phone in hand, was looking at videos, then raised her voice. “
This is scissoring?
You did this? This is what girls do with other girls? I thought girls were just going downtown and fingerbanging and calling it a damn day. This crap ain’t real. If I can’t do doggie or reverse cowgirl, what’s the point of even getting in bed with somebody?”
    Indigo said, “Jesus, lower your voice, idiot. Stop trying to scissor-shame me.”
    Destiny said, “That’s probably why the second time the girl didn’t want the dry humping and brought the toy. I guess a woman can do doggie and reverse cowgirl with a strap-on.”
    Kwanzaa announced, “Indigo-the-Nigerian has another dual citizenship.”
    â€œI
visited
Britain.
I did not change citizenships
. I would never change citizenships.”
    Kwanzaa laughed. “My, oh my. Are we feeling defensive?”
    Indigo hissed, then snapped, “I was with
one
girl—”
    At the same time Ericka and Kwanzaa said,
“Two times.”
    Then Ericka howled. “Indigo’s
CBR
stands for ‘
coochie been retrained.’”
    Kwanzaa howled too, “
CBR
stands for ‘
coochies bumping repeatedly
.’”
    Indigo laughed. “I am
hetero
. I was curious and infatuated. I tried something different. I have to get all of this out of my system while I am single, unmarried, and childless, because I will soon be in law school, and then I will be a lawyer who engages in either the business industry or entertainment law. Family and a Nigerian man will be in my life, taking up time. Yaba the Laker didn’t work out for me, but I have moved on with no regrets. Maybe Olamilekan will be ready soon, and maybe he will be ready today to make a serious commitment.”
    Ericka asked, “So is Yaba the Laker out of the picture for good?”
    â€œHe calls. He wants to see me. But Olamilekan is more handsome, is sexier, is an intelligent man who makes me laugh, a man who is focused and ambitious. I want Olamilekan, but he has to be a man who respects women, a devoted man, loving and caring, God-fearing and wants to settle down. I want my clichéd soul mate, but until that man stops hiding from me, until a ring is on this finger, I’m not going to rest and use this real estate as a bloody paperweight.”
    Destiny winked. “Sounds like she got you real good, Indigo. Woman was like a man.”
    Indigo snapped, “Did you not hear a word in that moving speech Ijust gave? I told you that in
confidence
. I’d better not see it pop up in Linda Ikeji, Uche Eze Pedro, or Emeh Achanga’s blog. If any African blogger confronts me about this, if I receive one phone call from one relative overseas and this is the subject matter, I will deny every word, then contact my mother and sue each of you individually for defamation of character.
Don’t cross me
.”
    Kwanzaa said, “The woman did you like she was a man. Woman was like a man.”
    In her soprano voice, Kwanzaa sang the lyrics
Woman like a man
, from Damian Rice’s CD. Kwanzaa and Ericka joined in and added their mezzo-sopranos to the teasing. Soon Destiny lent her remarkable contralto singing voice to the dancing bright tones the others had created. Indigo added darker and

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