Free 69 Things to Do With a Dead Princess by Stewart Home Page A

were piling up on the floor. Towers of books were piled up against the walls. There were books jammed under my bed. I wanted to possess Alan by possessing everything he’d ever read.
    That night I curled up with a copy of The Essential Frankfurt School Reader, edited with introductions by Andrew Arato and Eike Gebhardt. I fell asleep reading an essay by Theodor W. Adorno entitled ‘On the Fetish Character in Music and the Regression of Listening’. I was neglecting my studies, I preferred to read Alan’s books. The Essential Frankfurt School Reader was a compromise. It had belonged to Alan but would help me with my course work. The green spine was faded and badly scored. I bought the tome for £5.95 from the Old Aberdeen Bookshop. The price was pencilled onto the flyleaf. The original price sticker was still on the back, £6.60 Net BASIL BLACKWELL. I was certain Alan hadn’t bought the book new and wondered how much he’d paid for it.
    I slept uneasily. I dreamt that the towers of books piled up around me came crashing down onto the bed, crushing me. I died and Dudley strode into the ruins of my room dressed in a fireman’s uniform. The dummy sifted purposely through the wreckage, eventually locating my body under multiple copies of 69 Things to Do with a Dead Princess. Then Dudley sodomised me. After shooting his load into my rotting rectum, he took a big bite out of my buttock. The dummy became increasingly excited as he slapped my dead flesh and called me hundreds of insulting names. Slut. Harlot. Trollop. Arsewipe. Turd burglar. Shirt lifter. Brown nose. Dudley spread me across the bed, carefully parting my legs as he did so. Then he took a straw from behind his left ear and shoved it inside me. The dummy pushed the straw into my bladder and sucked out urine. He was taking the piss. Being inanimate himself, Dudley thought it was funny that I was dead.

FIVE
    I DON ’ T remember when I woke up or where I met Alan. However, I do know that I’d been up to his flat on Union Grove before we drove out to the Maiden Stone at Bennachie. Alan was angry that I hadn’t let him sleep with me the night before. I was embarrassed, my bedsit was overflowing with the books he’d been selling. At first I’d just been buying them from the Old Aberdeen Bookshop. Then I’d hit on the idea of offering to take them up to the secondhand shop on my way to the university. I’d bung Alan a bit of cash and simply take his books back to my pad on King Street. This made things easier all round, except that I didn’t want Alan to know I had all his old books – which meant I could no longer allow him to visit me at my bedsit.
    Perhaps we didn’t drive straight out to the Maiden Stone, we may have visited some stone circles first. It’s hard to put everything back together in the correct order. I’d not had much sleep. I’d sat up most of the night before reading through some of Alan’s old books. Thinking back through everything, we probably went to Archaeolink at Oyne first. I wanted a coffee on the way so Alan suggested we get cappuccinos in the Safeway café on the edge of Inverurie, quite close to the well-preserved Easter Aquhorthies stone circle. I thought a coffee would wake me up but I didn’t want to go to a supermarket for my breakfast, so I made Alan drive me out to Archaeolink. We didn’t have to pay the admission charge since we weren’t there to see the reconstructions of Iron-Age life. I got angry with Alan since he insisted on seating Dudley at our table.
    After Archaeolink we headed for the Maiden Stone. Alan took a photograph of me standing in front of the easterly side of the stone. I took a picture of him and Dudley from the western side. Portraits done, we got back in the car and drove to Esson’s Car Park which abuts the Bennachie Centre with its toilets and wide range of interpretative material about the mountain. Personally, I don’t understand why this facility doesn’t include a café. Anyway, we took