Free In Real Life by Jessica Love Page B

because that negative voice in my head is back and louder than ever. What if he doesn’t care? What if he’s mad I’m here? But I have to see him. I have to talk to him. After all this time, at the very least, I need to stop being a ghost.
    â€œHere we go,” I mumble, and start toward the stage. I figure I’ll go up to the barricade and call his name and then … see what happens. Maybe he’ll pick me up and twirl me around. Maybe he’ll even kiss me right then and there. I can’t keep a smile off my face at the thought of it.
    Lo and Grace shout out encouragement, and I will one foot in front of the other until I’m almost there, and then—…
    And then a girl walks out from backstage. A tiny girl with red hair. Not ginger red, but red like a crayon, dyed herself, probably, in some sink or bathtub like Grace this morning. Tight jeans, a loose T-shirt—but not so loose that you can’t see her huge boobs—she looks the part of hipster or groupie or oh, I’m with the band girl. And this ridiculously cool-looking tiny girl with her red hair, she walks up behind Nick and she wraps her arms around his waist. Then she leans forward and kisses him on the neck. And right as she does this, he smiles, probably at the weight of her leaning on his back and the brush of her lips on his skin. And as he smiles, he looks up, straight into the crowd. Right at me, standing there at the edge of the barricade like an idiot, mouth open in horror as I realize that Nick has a girlfriend.

 
    CHAPTER
    8
    Eyes locked, Nick and I stare at each other for several seconds or hours or eternities before either of us makes a move.
    Actually, it’s the girlfriend who breaks the gaping silence.
    â€œOh my God, is that Hannah?” She untangles her arms from Nick’s waist and scurries to the edge of the stage, where she bends down and gets right in my face. “Hannah! You’re here! I’ve heard so much about you!” She hops off the stage and pulls me into a tight hug over the barricade. “It’s awesome to meet you. I’m so excited!”
    I stand there and let this tiny girl who knows my name hug me because I don’t know what else to do, but my arms dangle limply by my side and I’m still staring at Nick, who looks as shocked and confused as I feel.
    The girlfriend pulls away, but she doesn’t stop talking. “I am so sorry. How rude am I? I’m Frankie, Nick’s girlfriend.”
    I fight the urge to throw up in my mouth when she says it out loud. If there had been any doubt about my feelings for Nick, the fact that meeting his girlfriend is making me want to empty the contents of my stomach pretty much cements that.
    â€œNick didn’t tell me you were going to be here.” She looks back at Nick, and I guess she sees the shock on his face that matches mine, so she finally catches on. “Oh snap, was this a surprise? Yay! I love surprises!” She pulls me in a hug again—freaking A—and jumps up and down. I still don’t hug back. This time I swivel my head toward Lo and Grace, and I find them staring at us, mouths agape. There’s hardly a closed mouth in this place.
    â€œThis is killer,” Frankie cheers. “I’m so happy you’re here.”
    I’m trying to make sense of what is happening, but the inside of my mind is like a bounce house, thoughts flying everywhere. Who? What? By this point, Nick has walked to the edge of the stage, but he’s still silent, his eyes open wide in shock and his mouth opening and closing like a caught fish thrown on the deck of a boat.
    Finally, Frankie gives me back my personal space. “Nick, I can finish setting up the drums. You two need to talk!” She holds her hand up to him and he pulls her back onstage, where she jumpy-claps, kisses him on the cheek, and walks back to the drum kit to keep doing whatever it was Nick had been in the middle