Free The man who mistook his wife for a hat by Oliver Sacks, Оливер Сакс Page B

Right?'
       *Such sensory polyneuropathies occur, but are rare. What was unique in Chris-tina's case, to the best of our knowledge at the time (this was in 1977), was the extraordinary selectivity displayed, so that proprioceptive fibres, and these only, bore the brunt of the damage. But see Sterman (1979).
       'Right,' I said, 'right. You could be a physiologist.'
       'I'll have to be a sort of physiologist,' she rejoined, 'because my physiology has gone wrong, and may never naturally go right
       It was as well that Christina showed such strength of mind, from the start, for, though the acute inflammation subsided, and her spinal fluid returned to normal, the damage it did to her proprioceptive fibres persisted-so that there was no neurological recovery a week, or a year, later. Indeed there has been none in the eight years that have now passed-though she has been able to lead a life, a sort of life, through accommodations and adjustments of every sort, emotional and moral no less than neurological.
       That first week Christina did nothing, lay passively, scarcely ate. She was in a state of utter shock, horror and despair. What sort of a life would it be, if there was not natural recovery? What sort of a life, every move made by artifice? What sort of a life, above all, if she felt disembodied?
       Then life reasserted itself, as it will, and Christina started to move. She could at first do nothing without using her eyes, and collapsed in a helpless heap the moment she closed them. She had, at first, to monitor herself by vision, looking carefully at each part of her body as it moved, using an almost painful conscientiousness and care. Her movements, consciously monitored and regulated, were at first clumsy, artificial, in the highest degree. But then-and here both of us found ourselves most happily surprised, by the power of an ever-increasing, daily increasing, automatism-then her movements started to appear more delicately modulated, more graceful, more natural (though still wholly dependent on use of the eyes).
       Increasingly now, week by week, the normal, unconscious feedback of proprioception was being replaced by an equally unconscious feedback by vision, by visual automatism and reflexes increasingly integrated and fluent. Was it possible, too, that something more fundamental was happening? That the brain's visual model of the body, or body-image-normally rather feeble (it is, of course, absent in the blind), and normally subsidiary to the proprioceptive
       body-model-was it possible that this, now the proprioceptive body model was lost, was gaining, by way of compensation or substitution, an enhanced, exceptional, extraordinary force? And to this might be added a compensatory enhancement of the vestibular body-model or body-image, too . . . both to an extent which was more than we had expected or hoped for.*
       Whether or not there was increased use of vestibular feedback, there was certainly increased use of her ears-auditory feedback. Normally this is subsidiary, and rather unimportant in speaking- our speech remains normal if we are deaf from a head cold, and some of the congenitally deaf may be able to acquire virtually perfect speech. For the modulation of speech is normally proprioceptive, governed by inflowing impulses from all our vocal organs. Christina had lost this normal inflow, this afference, and lost her normal proprioceptive vocal tone and posture, and there-tore had to use her ears, auditory feedback, instead.
       Besides these new, compensatory forms of feedback, Christina also started to develop-it was deliberate and conscious in the first place, but gradually became unconscious and automatic-various forms of new and compensatory 'feed-forward' (in all this she was assisted by an immensely understanding and resourceful rehabilitative staff).
       Thus at the time of her catastrophe, and for about a month afterwards, Christina remained as floppy as a ragdoll,