Free Alien Proliferation by Gini Koch Page A

ignoring it. Felt another something funny. Thought about all the movies Tito had forced us to watch and all the private chats he’d had with us. “Jeff?”
    “Yeah, baby.” He sounded like he’d almost been asleep. “You okay?”
    “I think I know why Jamie woke everyone up and wanted James here.”
    “You were scared.”
    “Yeah, but, um . . .”
    “Um?” He sounded wide awake now.
    I felt the funny again. “I think I’m going into labor.”

 
    CHAPTER 12
     
    “C OM ON!” JEFF WASN’T BELLOWING, but he was close.
    “Yes, Commanders?” I found myself wondering if and when Gladys ever slept.
    “Need a gurney down here immediately, as well as Doctor Hernandez. And whoever else. And her parents. And my parents. And her grandparents.”
    “No! Not my grandparents!” I didn’t need them betting on this.
    “Yes, Commander Martini. Noted, no grandparents. Medical will be there immediately. I suggest you two be clothed.”
    “Hilarious, Gladys.” Our sex life was somewhat legendary, due mostly to the fact I hadn’t found a way to be quiet when Jeff was making love to me and spent most of my time yowling like a happy cat in heat. He didn’t mind at all, but we’d made a lot of people happy when we’d chosen to sleep in the bowels of the earth, several levels away from the other living floors.
    “Now isn’t the time for jokes.” Jeff was snarling. He was still holding me. Clutching, really. I got the impression he’d forgotten every chat we’d had with Tito.
    “Now’s the best time. I’ll handle Jeff, Gladys. If you could . . . oww . . . please call my parents . . . ooowww . . . that would be great. . . . OW!”
    “Yes, Commander. Deep breaths, relax, on a four count.”
    “Gotcha.” I did the breathing. Jeff clutched me. “Baby, you need to get up.”
    “What if I jostle you? What if I hurt you, or the baby?” He sounded panicked.
    It was interesting. I’d figured I’d be freaked out of my mind when labor showed up, probably a total mess, only hold it together because Jeff would be a tower of strength. I mean, the man handled huge military operations against scary outer space beings trying to destroy the Earth all the time. I’d assumed he’d be in full on Commander-mode when the baby was coming. Turned out, I was cool, calm, and collected, and he was terrified.
    I threaded my fingers with his. “Baby, it’s okay. This is the part where I scream in pain, and you tell me to push, and you hold my hand and tell me how brave I am, and I tell you I hate you because you did this to me, and you don’t let it hurt your feelings, and then we get the baby, and you tell me how amazing I am, and I tell you I couldn’t have made it through the ordeal without you, and we both say how much we love each other and how wonderful the baby is.”
    “Deep breaths, Commander.”
    “I am, Gladys.”
    “I meant Commander Father-to-Be. You know, the one I can hear hyperventilating. Do I need to send two gurneys?”
    “No!” Jeff sounded insulted and still freaked out. “I’m fine. She’s just in labor. Women can die in labor! Where the hell is the gurney?”
    “Jeff? Can we not focus on the ‘die’ part?”
    “You think you’re going to die?” He sounded horrified and terrified.
    I started to laugh, in between contractions. “I wish I was recording this.”
    “No worries, Commander. We like to have a good laugh in Security, too, you know.”
    Tito arrived, along with a gurney, in medical scrubs. I got the impression he’d changed into them, as opposed to been sleeping in them. “Jeff, why are you still in bed?”
    “She’s in labor!”
    Tito and I looked at each other. “It’s sweet, endearing, and funny. But no one’s getting through to him.”
    “Jeff, I need you out of bed. I have to get Kitty onto the gurney, and I was thinking you’d help me with that.”
    “She can’t move!”
    “I could if you’d let go.” I was still laughing in between