Free Final Analysis by Catherine Crier Page B

letters seemed to indicate another side to Felix Polk. “He basically writes how he hates it there in Byron Boys’ Ranch,” police noted in the report. “It’s apparent from these writings that Eli distrusts his father and even warns Gabe at one point to be careful of what he eats at home, especially if given to him by dad.
    “Nothing indicating that Eli had any prior knowledge that this incident would occur,” the report stated.
    On a desk in the office was an Apple Macintosh laptop computer, and a check of the hard drive revealed some lengthy documents apparently created by Susan Polk that showed she agreed with her middle son’s views of his father. One document, dated March 16, 2001, which was submitted as evidence at her trial, outlined what Susan believed was Felix’s “unethical conduct” and spoke of abuse “throughout their marriage.”
    “She claims that her husband has drugged her in the past and has even struck her,” investigators noted.
    The purpose of this letter is to document the unethical conduct of Felix Polk, a Licensed Clinical Psychologist in private practice in Berkeley. I was referred to Felix Polk in 1972 when I was a student at Clayton Valley High School in Concord. During the course of therapy, I was drugged by Felix and coerced into having a sexual relationship with him. We married in 1982. We have three children together, Adam, Eli, and Gabriel, aged 18, 15, and 14.
    Throughout our marriage, Felix has been psychologically and physically abusive. He has punched me on numerous occasions, and threatened to kill me if I ever left him. He has also hit the children. On one occasion, he punched Eli who was twelve years old at the time in the face with a closed fist, knocking him to the floor where he lay stunned and unable to stand up. The violence, psychological and physical, has escalated as I have become more and more convinced that a separation was necessary.
    The psychological abuse has taken several forms. Felix has threatened to withdraw financial support from me as well as the children…. When I have stated that I would be willing to leave without receiving a division of our property, he has threatened to kill me or, in his words, drive me crazy. Felix has throughout our marriage told me that I am crazy and told our children that I am crazy. He states that I come from a crazy family and that the dynamics in our family reflect my family dynamic rather than his…. Felix tells me that I am bad, ugly, evil, and destructive. At these times, I cannot help but being reminded of the family scene in which I was raised. As Felix knows, my mother subjected me to harsh criticism. The adjectives Felix chooses to employ are identical to those employed by my mother.
    In October of last year, in order to avoid another violent scene, I informed Felix that I was going to spend the day at the beach. Felix responded by hitting me in the face. When I burst into tears, he told me to leave the house and not come back. Felix told the children that I was crazy and destroying the family. He then ordered me: “go to your room.” He dragged me up the stairs and shoved me into our room. He said that he felt like hitting me because I was so provocative. One of my sons then stepped forward and punched me in the face…. These family scenes do indeed remind me of the way in which I was brought up. As Felix knew, there were constant violent confrontations in which my mother goaded my older brother into beating me up. It was part of my motivation to escape from my family that I submitted to Felix and agreed to marry him. While the despair that I feel in response to Felix’s violence is reminiscent of the despair I felt growing up in an abusive family, it is not just transference as Felix states. When Felix threatens to destroy me, to kill me, to leave me with nothing if I leave him, I do feel hopeless. After the last violent scene, I attempted suicide despite the fact that apart from my marriage, I love