Free Remember by Karen Kingsbury Page B

straight through 61

a I I e
    her. But it was gone almost instantly, gathered back into a closet of his heart where she clearly wasn’t allowed.
    He chuckled quietly and shook his head. “Of course not, Ash.” Gone was the intimacy of a moment ago, and in its place was the protective veneer, the casual friendship she’d grown accustomed to. The one she was more comfortable with. “I would never think that. Not of the mysterious Ashley Baxter.”
    “Landon…” Ashley wanted to kick herself. This was going all wrong. Yes, she had feelings for Landon. But where could they possibly lead? “I didn’t mean it like that; it’s just…”
    Landon held up his hand. “It’s okay.” Resignation was written across his face.
    “I understand.” He drew in a deep breath and held out his hand to her. She reached up and took it, allowing him to weave his fingers between hers. “I have something to tell you.”
    Ashley wanted to think straight, but the feel of Landon’s hand in hers was almost more than she could bear. She forced herself to focus. “What?”
    “I’m moving.” He worked his thumb over the back of her hand. “I was looking for a chance to tell you before I got hurt.”
    Ashley was unable to breathe for a moment. Landon was kidding, lying. Trying to get back at her for not loving him the way he loved her. She felt suddenly awkward holding his hand. Her fingers eased free, and she crossed her arms again. “Moving where?”
    “New York.” Peace came over Landon, and he settled back against his pillow once more. “Jalen’s there. I told you about him, right?”
    Jalen? The name was vaguely familiar. Ashley’s mind raced. She was struck by how little she’d really listened to Landon since she’d been home from Paris. She’d been so determined not to fall in love with him that she’d barely heard him.
    “Vaguely.”
    Landon smiled. “Jalen and I met at the University of Texas as freshmen. He’s the one who convinced me to get on the volunteer fire department in this little town outside Austin. When we
    62
    left school he went to New York City. 1 came home to Bloomington to train and get in the department here.”
    Ashley felt sick to her stomach. “But New York, Landon? Isn’t this kind of… I don’t know … sudden?”
    “Not really. I’ve been thinking about it for a while.” He shrugged. “Jalen and I talk once a month or so, and he’s always in the thick of things. Saving people, rushing into burning high-rises, that kind of thing. In New York City, fighting fires is a passion. Here in Bloomington it’s more of a pastime.”
    “So you’re moving to New York to fight fires with jalen because there’s not enough excitement here? Is that it?” Ashley gestured at the cast on Landon’s leg, the bandages on his back and thighs. “Haven’t you had enough excitement for a while?”
    “It isn’t the excitement, really. It’s making my life count.” He stared at her and, for an instant, he allowed his emotions to surface as they had before.
    “After hearing your voice when they brought me in here, I actually had doubts about going. That’s why … I don’t know …”
    “Why you’ve been so quiet?” It all made sense finally-the awkwardness she’d been feeling, the strange uneasiness between them. Landon was moving. He had been looking for a way to tell her, but then he’d been hurt. And as he lay near death, her words of love had made him wonder if he was making a mistake by going.
    He nodded. “Exactly.”
    “I’m sorry, Landon.” She reached for his hand again. “I had no idea.”
    “I know. It’s okay. I shouldn’t have read so much into what you said. It’s just.
    . . when you told me you loved me, I had to know what you meant. Because if you meant it-well, if you meant it the way I’d hoped, I could never leave.”
    There it was again. Landon’s true feelings laid out before her like an open gift. If only she could love him the way he loved her. “Sometimes I