Free The Buses and Other Short Stories by Dora Drivas-Avramis Page A

as if they were my own, Maria. I promise you.”
    His voice sounded sincere, but
mana
remained silent as if she was struggling to find a balanced answer. During the silent moments, I found it hard to breathe, and my body was clammy and cold; my head throbbed and my heart pounded. A weakness took hold of me, especially my limbs to the point where I needed to kneel.
    â€œWell…?
Kyrio
Tasos asked in a low tone, full of agony.
    â€œYou’re a good man, Tasos, and I thank you for your kind feelings, but I cannot accept your proposal. Please let me explain. You loved me when I was a pretty teenager and you probably remember all the fun we had. Perhaps you continue to see me as I was then Tasos, I’m not a young girl anymore, but a tired old woman!”
    â€œYou’re not an old woman. To me you’re more beautiful now.”
    â€œMy dear Tasos, I’m delighted to have an admirer like you, but I must decline. I’m not just a weary woman, but also a
mana
. I would not be worthy of this title if I gave a stepfather to my children. A stepfather – no matter how good he is – can never replace the father. And even if he truly loves the other’s children, the children themselves won’t love him.”
    â€œYour children love me. You should have seen Pete yesterday, how well we hit it off during the fishing trip.”
    â€œMy children love you as a relative or a true friend, as someone who gave them a little happiness by reminding them of the father they worshipped. But when they become aware that you’ve taken his place, they will resent you. And the worst part, they will hate me, the unworthy
mana
who forsook their father. I may have regrets and loathe myself.”
    â€œMaria, you are complicating a very simple situation. The children are mature enough to face a new reality. You must see that it is troubling for them to see you struggling to raise them by yourself. It saddens them to see you get up every morning before dawn for olive picking during the freezing rain and cold winds; how long can you endure it? What if something happens to you? What will become of the children?”
    â€œLife’s trials are for humans, Tasos; with courage we’ll find our way. Up to now my loneliness has given me a kind of pride which has been my strength. Besides, everything is in God’s hands. Is there anyone in this world who knows whether he’ll be alive tomorrow? Your proposal, my good friend, moves me; it gives me comfort in my difficult journey since Demitri’s passing five years ago. Oh, I know what I’m losing by declining your offer, but I’ll win the serenity of my soul and the love of my children…”
    â€œThink about it carefully, Maria. Your journey will be long and tough. America has a lot more to offer your children than Greece.”
    â€œNo, Tasos, I will not think about it. Please understand that I’ve made up my mind. For a few weeks now I was wondering what I would say to you; I had suspected the reason for your visits. And if I find that the obstacles to my journey become unbearable, I’ll consider immigrating to Toronto, Canada, where Demitri’s cousin lives as he has repeatedly offered to sponsor us. But keep in mind that our race does not yield easily. We have inherited the capacity to face life boldly, a boldness which I want to pass onto my children. Goodbye, my good friend.”
    â€œGoodbye, Maria. Kiss the children for me and give them my love.”
    I heard
Kyrio
Tasos’ steps, as they faded in our courtyard, I tried to get up but my body’s every fibre was leaden. Glued to the cold tiled floor, it was as if I needed an oversized pulley to lift me. I noticed
mana
had returned to the table, buried her face in her palms and had a good cry. I don’t know how long I sat there with my eyes fixed on the ochre tiles. But every word of
mana’s
exchange with
Kyrio
Tasos remained in my mind. And after