Free A Funny Thing About Love by Rebecca Farnworth Page B

of his suits – not that the comedian in question had any suits or indeed any curtains, and Sadie was allergic to shellfish, but that wasn’t the point. A dramatic act of revenge had been called for, and Sadie had flunked it.
    A deep sigh from Sadie. ‘Well, he asked me out fordinner, so I was hoping for somewhere lovely, as I have paid for the last three meals. Guess where he took me?’
    â€˜The Ivy?’ Carmen said hopefully, knowing Sadie loved going there.
    â€˜He took me to KFC because he was doing some research for one of his jokes. K fucking F fucking C!’ Now that was a Sadie the Radio 4 listeners had yet to be treated to.
    â€˜I had chicken in a bucket and I was wearing my brand new Miu Miu red suede platforms.’ Sadie’s velvety tones were turning a tad screechy-meets-estuary; she would end up on Radio 1 if she wasn’t careful.
    â€˜Just tell me you didn’t go back and have sex with him after that?’ Sadie’s compulsion to pick complete and utter tossers as boyfriends never ceased to amaze Carmen. It was almost as if she had been genetically programmed to only ever go for the wanker.
    Another sigh. Which Carmen took to mean yes.
    â€˜Well, don’t tell me you did that thing for him again, did you?’
    That thing
involved Sadie recounting an imaginary shipping forecast, while Dom got down to business. Dom had apparently been fantasising about Sadie long before he met her, having heard her on Radio 4. Apparently he especially loved hearing her read out the shipping forecast and gale warnings issued by the Met Office. Carmen didn’t like to imagine what Dom was doing as he listened but she bet checking the forecast for factual information was not part of it.
    Another sigh. But then a giggle. ‘He only got up toRockall. And I felt like saying, at least you got your rocks off, which is more than I did.’
    â€˜
Please
tell me you’re not going to see him again,’ Carmen implored, with all the hopelessness of King Canute trying to stop the tide.
    â€˜Oh, he’s quite sweet really.’
    Carmen ended the call agreeing to meet up soon but felt that further warnings about Dom were fruitless.
    Will called her mobile again but as soon as she saw his number flash up she switched her phone off. Along with her job at Fox Nicholson she might as well kiss goodbye to that little flirtation. She very much doubted Will would be interested in her now she was unemployed, and she wasn’t up to hearing him trying to be nice but inside pitying her.
    Flopping down on the sofa, Carmen let out a long sigh. She felt so crushed by Nick’s news, she just wanted to lie down and cry. It brought back so many unwelcome memories of the last two years of her marriage. The whole trying for a baby thing had left her feeling so drained that she supposed she had never really looked to the future and thought about what would happen to Nick. She’d been totally wrapped up in herself. And now as Nick made his way into a baby-filled sunset, there really was no escaping the fact that it had been her fault that she couldn’t get pregnant. She was left behind feeling like a defective being, the reject.
    On the second day of unemployment the reject finally got out of her pyjamas. She caught the W7 to FinsburyPark. Carmen always remembered Nick pointing out that backwards Finsbury Park spelt krapy rubsnif – only a man would ever bother to work that one out. She caught the Victoria Line to Oxford Circus to find a suitably stylish leaving present for Matthew. She found it in Liberty’s – always good for calming the soul even if she couldn’t afford anything in there – in the shape of a wonderfully flamboyant tie which was over her budget but which she put on her card, because it was so Matthew. Then she decided to say goodbye to Rico and Mamma Mia.
    As soon as Carmen walked in Rico exclaimed, ‘Carmen, is it true you have left your job?