Free Flying by the Seat of My Pants: Flight Attendant Adventures on a Wing and a Prayer by Marsha Marks Page B
Authors: Marsha Marks
ten times, each time more desperate than the others, to grab hold of that baby. He estimates she was underwater for several seconds, maybe even a full minute, before he finally got a grip on her diaper and lifted her out of the water. He said the baby was laughing and happy as could be.
But the dad was so shaken by the incident that it was five years before he told his wife about it. “You would have strung me up by my thumbs,” he said. “It was a Stupid Dad Trick, but I was just trying to do the right thing.”
I like to think that kids have special baby angels that protect them from things like Stupid Dad Tricks. And keep their well-meaning dads from having to deal with what might have happened.
C HAPTER 32
Passenger Gone Wild
I was working a full flight on a L1011—and I mean completely full. I was serving beverages in the aisle when a passenger, who seemed upset, tapped me on the shoulder. He was distinguished looking and spoke with grace and aplomb. “Excuse me,” he said, “do you have any empty seats? The woman next to me is, well, it would be best if I could relocate.”
“We don’t,” I said. “I’m sorry.” I always feel bad when someone pays what is comparable to a down payment on a new car to fly somewhere, only to find that the person in thenext seat is rude or smells or is a talker. I didn’t know what the woman next to him was like, but the truth was that every seat was full—we had left ticketed passengers standing at the gate.
About ten minutes later, the same man approached me again. Although still reserved and very polite, he was obviously becoming desperate.
“The woman next to me,” he said, motioning to his section of the aircraft. “She’s a bit difficult. Do you have
any
empty seats?”
“No, I’m sorry, we don’t.”
It wasn’t until the third time the man returned that I realized the gravity of the situation.
“Excuse me,” he said. “She bit me.”
“What?”
“She bit me, yes. Here on the arm.”
He held up his arm and showed a fresh imprint of a set of teeth. I looked up at the other flight attendant who had heard the whole thing. And then we went into action. We called the cockpit. The second officer came out and subdued the woman using a rope of headset cords tied together to secure her arms to her side, and we removed all passengers within teeth range.
We had to double up people in seats, and we immediately diverted the aircraft to land at the closest available airport. The cockpit called ahead for someone to meet the flight. So when we landed police were at the door and stormed onto the airplanewhile all the passengers who had been instructed to stay seated did so.
The biter was escorted off the flight, and the bitten received a free beverage.
In an update later in the day, we heard the biter was a former mental patient who had simply forgotten to take her medicine.
When we took off again this time, we did have one empty seat.
C HAPTER 33
The Strangest Thing That Happened on My Flight
T he year was 1986, and I was working the dreaded Los Angeles to Las Vegas turns: six flights a day, up and down, racing through the cabin with drinks during the thirty-seven-minute trip.
Now, in those days, the airline allowed smoking on board. And smoking mixed with all the drinking that went on during the Las Vegas runs was a dangerous combination.
That’s why when the woman sitting in the last row of FirstClass, seat 3A, called me over and pointed below the window and said with slurred speech, “I’ve dropped my cigarette, and it’s stuck on the wall,” I went into action. I leaned over the man sitting next to her and saw that her cigarette was indeed stuck in the carpeting on the wall. Smoke drifted up as the cigarette’s embers burned the carpet fibers.
As I was trained to do, I grabbed the water off the woman’s tray and poured it over the side toward the cigarette. The water bounced off the curve in the wall and missed
But the dad was so shaken by the incident that it was five years before he told his wife about it. “You would have strung me up by my thumbs,” he said. “It was a Stupid Dad Trick, but I was just trying to do the right thing.”
I like to think that kids have special baby angels that protect them from things like Stupid Dad Tricks. And keep their well-meaning dads from having to deal with what might have happened.
C HAPTER 32
Passenger Gone Wild
I was working a full flight on a L1011—and I mean completely full. I was serving beverages in the aisle when a passenger, who seemed upset, tapped me on the shoulder. He was distinguished looking and spoke with grace and aplomb. “Excuse me,” he said, “do you have any empty seats? The woman next to me is, well, it would be best if I could relocate.”
“We don’t,” I said. “I’m sorry.” I always feel bad when someone pays what is comparable to a down payment on a new car to fly somewhere, only to find that the person in thenext seat is rude or smells or is a talker. I didn’t know what the woman next to him was like, but the truth was that every seat was full—we had left ticketed passengers standing at the gate.
About ten minutes later, the same man approached me again. Although still reserved and very polite, he was obviously becoming desperate.
“The woman next to me,” he said, motioning to his section of the aircraft. “She’s a bit difficult. Do you have
any
empty seats?”
“No, I’m sorry, we don’t.”
It wasn’t until the third time the man returned that I realized the gravity of the situation.
“Excuse me,” he said. “She bit me.”
“What?”
“She bit me, yes. Here on the arm.”
He held up his arm and showed a fresh imprint of a set of teeth. I looked up at the other flight attendant who had heard the whole thing. And then we went into action. We called the cockpit. The second officer came out and subdued the woman using a rope of headset cords tied together to secure her arms to her side, and we removed all passengers within teeth range.
We had to double up people in seats, and we immediately diverted the aircraft to land at the closest available airport. The cockpit called ahead for someone to meet the flight. So when we landed police were at the door and stormed onto the airplanewhile all the passengers who had been instructed to stay seated did so.
The biter was escorted off the flight, and the bitten received a free beverage.
In an update later in the day, we heard the biter was a former mental patient who had simply forgotten to take her medicine.
When we took off again this time, we did have one empty seat.
C HAPTER 33
The Strangest Thing That Happened on My Flight
T he year was 1986, and I was working the dreaded Los Angeles to Las Vegas turns: six flights a day, up and down, racing through the cabin with drinks during the thirty-seven-minute trip.
Now, in those days, the airline allowed smoking on board. And smoking mixed with all the drinking that went on during the Las Vegas runs was a dangerous combination.
That’s why when the woman sitting in the last row of FirstClass, seat 3A, called me over and pointed below the window and said with slurred speech, “I’ve dropped my cigarette, and it’s stuck on the wall,” I went into action. I leaned over the man sitting next to her and saw that her cigarette was indeed stuck in the carpeting on the wall. Smoke drifted up as the cigarette’s embers burned the carpet fibers.
As I was trained to do, I grabbed the water off the woman’s tray and poured it over the side toward the cigarette. The water bounced off the curve in the wall and missed
Similar Books
One Choice
Ginger Solomon
Too Close to Home
Maureen Tan
Stutter Creek
Ann Swann
Landslayer's Law
Tom Deitz
Play Dirty
Jessie K
Grounded By You
Ivy Sinclair
The Trouble With Paradise
Jill Shalvis
The Unquiet House
Alison Littlewood