Free Spiral of Bliss 01 Arouse by Nina Lane Page A

anything.”
    “Why do you keep implying I’m missing something?” My spine prickles with irritation. “That I mentioned a baby because I need something to do, or because our marriage isn’t enough? Why can’t it be because we’re strong and happy together?”
    “It can, but not now, Liv. Regardless of what you decide, I told you it’s a bad time.”
    “Do you think there will ever be a good time?” I ask.
    Dean sighs and drags a hand down his face. “I don’t want to have this conversation here,” he says.
    “You don’t want to have this conversation at all.”
    It’s a sharp retort that should bring me some satisfaction, but instead I just feel hollow. Because I know I’m right.
     

     
    We’re avoiding each other. There’s tension. It’s lousy. Part of me wishes I hadn’t even opened this particular door. Why would I want to change anything about our marriage?
    There was a time when I never thought I’d have the life I do now. Never thought I’d be safe or have a home. I certainly never thought I’d fall in love.
    But all of that happened because I met Dean. He’s the one who turned my whole world right side up, who transformed all my warped ideas about relationships. Who proved that white knights really do exist. Who discovered alongside me that we are so much better together than alone. So why is the mere idea of a baby causing a rift between us?
    I have no answer to that question. And I’m not sure I want one.
    Tonight Dean is going to the banquet with Kelsey. She shows up looking classically sexy in a black sheath dress and a long strand of pearls. She wears almost no makeup except for bright red lipstick, which—combined with her disdainful expression—makes her look like Greta Garbo or Marlene Dietrich. With blue-streaked hair.
    “What’re you going to do?” she asks me while we wait for Dean to finish getting ready. “Pop popcorn and watch movies? Drink wine? Can I stay with you instead?”
    I kind of wish she would—even though I wouldn’t tell her everything that’s been going on, I’d like her no-nonsense company.
    Dean emerges from the bedroom, still knotting his tie. He looks incredible, masculine and handsome with his hair combed away from his forehead and his navy suit pressed to perfection.
    “Wow,” Kelsey remarks in admiration, glancing from him to me. “Maybe
he
should stay just so you can have the fun of taking that suit off him.”
    Dean and I both laugh, but the sound is forced and rusty. Kelsey gets it immediately because she frowns and looks at both of us again. I suspect my husband will be subjected to the third degree en route to the banquet.
    I give him the obligatory kiss, hug Kelsey and tell her to behave. They head off. I’m somewhat relieved to be alone because at least now I don’t have to pretend.
    I take Kelsey’s advice and eat some popcorn while watching an action movie, then part of a romantic comedy. But I’m soon bored, so I turn off the TV and page through a magazine. Then I wander over to check my email at my laptop by the window.
    After surfing a few book-related websites, I’m bored again and restless and wishing Dean were here and everything was like it was before the idea of a baby made it all so messy.
    I type a few words into a search engine. A massive list of results appears—live porn, amateur videos, free porn, fetish movies, hardcore videos, bondage, girls with glasses… girls with glasses?
    Out of curiosity, I click that link. Sure enough, a screen of clips appears of half-naked girls with glasses. At least they’re honest about their advertising.
    They’re in various stages of apparent arousal and intercourse. I don’t know whether to be intrigued or not. I’ve seen porn videos, of course, but not such a proliferation or such a niche market.
    I click on a clip. There’s a guy between the spread legs of a girl wearing glasses. He’s rubbing his erection, teasing the head around the folds of her sex, slipping partway into