Free Toad Triumphant by William Horwood Page A

none of them had even met!
    But the Badger was not one to let such reverses get him down. Where truth and honour were concerned his sword was mighty, and his determination formidable.
    “You mean you have been conducting a dalliance at Toad Hall, and intend to continue it now under the guise of this ‘sitting’,” said he, advancing upon Toad. “And you expect us, your friends, who have done so much to help you in the past, to aid and abet this Madame, this Gallic strumpet, this —”
    “I have indeed spent a night with the lady in question here in Toad Hall before now,” he offered quite without apology, before adding with something of a mischievous glint in his eye and a shamelessness that infuriated the Badger still further, “but I cannot say that she made sufficient impression on me even to remember what she looks like. How should I remember so inconsequential a thing? And anyway Badger, you really ought to know that —”
    “Toad!” cried the appalled Badger. “You shamelessly tell us that a matter that has gone so far that it could scarcely go further, is merely ‘inconsequential’!”
    “But, Badger, how can I be expected to remember something that happened when I was so very young, and she was younger still? Indeed, by rights it is you who ought to remember it, for were you not a friend of my late father, and as a regular visitor to Toad Hall privy to much that occurred here in the years immediately before my birth? Might you remember better than I my half-uncle’s last doomed visit here, when he came for a single night with my half-cousin Florentine, now Madame d’Albert, then but a few months old?”
    Toad thoroughly enjoyed making this speech with its combination of revelation, injured pride and innocent childhood days, not to mention that it was all too plain that Toad had cleverly let the Badger dig the hole into which he had fallen. Indeed, the Badger was about to express his chagrin at Toad’s shoddy deception, when he was interrupted by the timely arrival of Prendergast.
    With a discreet “Ahem!” he appeared suddenly in the doorway that led into the conservatory from the main house, and waited for a moment before making his announcement. “The Countess Florentine d’Albert-Chapelle has sent her apologies, sir, that her toilette has taken longer than she expected and she wishes you to know that she will be a few minutes more.”
    “Aha!” cried Toad, leaping to his feet, the success of his argument with the Badger having served to effect a very rapid recovery of his health and spirits. “Tell her not to hurry on our account.”
    “I shall convey that message to her maid, sir,” said the butler with all propriety.
    “Quite so. When the lady honours us with her presence bring in some tea, will you?”
    The Butler hesitated for a moment before saying, “I hope I have your approval, sir, but the Countess asked that tea should not be served till the sitting is completed:’ Here the butler paused sufficiently to establish a note of disapproval. “She was quite insistent on the matter, sir.”
    “O, indeed,” said Toad, somewhat deflated. He liked his tea, and knew that his friends did as well. “Well, I suppose —”
    With that Prendergast slid discreetly away.
    The Badger, hearing what had been said, felt a sudden surge of relief and hope. It was plain that the butler was not much taken with the Countess, and whilst the Badger had no wish at all to return to the days of wars against the French, he knew very well that in the normal circumstances of battle — those of Agincourt and Waterloo came immediately to mind —several battalions of French Countesses would be no match for a solitary platoon of well-trained English butlers, while in single combat there would be no contest at all. This, then, promised hope of a formidable ally in the battle to protect Toad from the French female.
    “He seems a very sensible fellow, your new butler,” said the Badger.
    Toad beamed smugly and