Free Hopelessly Yours by Ellery Rhodes Page A

slowly pulling my aching body to a seated position. I looked down, still in my shirt and jeans from last night. They reeked of smoke and regret. My whole attempt at being open, apologizing for the umpteenth time and telling her that she was the best thing that had ever happened to me blew up in my face. Instead of helping her open up, she doubled down, steering the conversation to the furthest emotional point possible.
    Forced, awkward conversation about my fake job at a fake gym, conversation about her epic first year of college. The fire that burned in her gaze when she relentlessly tried to convince herself that I was nothing more than the past were cold embers when she talked about her major. She was still Daddy's little girl, following in his footsteps. Off to become a doctor, doing what was expected of her. She used to question that role, airing her frustration at never measuring up to her mother’s high expectations and shouldering her father’s beliefs that she would take over his practice someday.
    She used to resent the chains of their expectations, but droning on about her ten-year plans, it sounded like she had given up. When I asked her what she wanted to do, she'd looked genuinely taken aback. Like that question hadn't crossed her mind in awhile. We'd almost had a breakthrough before she leapt up like there was a fire. I'd asked her to stay, hated myself when I'd all but begged. Her voice had darkened as she looked at me point blank with the past circling in her angry eyes.
    “I can’t pretend that I forgive you and everything’s okay. I don’t forgive you, Jace. I don’t think I ever will.”
    And so I found the nearest bar and got so shit faced that the rest of the night was a blur. Macone owned the owner of the place, Tommy Brooks, just like he owned every other bar in town, so the fact that I was nineteen was irrelevant.
    My throat went dry when I saw the keys on my bedside table before I remembered. The barkeep arranged for someone to drive my Explorer back to my place, and someone else followed to pick that guy up. I had a feeling both of them worked at Tommy's and playing DD wasn't in their job description, but they knew mouthing off could cost them more than their job.
    Working for Macone had its perks. We were treated like royalty; one wrong move and heads would roll.
    I narrowed my eyes, a neon piece of paper beneath my keys. I read the soft handwriting. 'Call when you're sober.' No name, just a number. I couldn't even remember her face. Not that it would have mattered. I hadn't craved any other girl since Vix came back into my world.
    I cracked my neck as I got to my feet, deciding that there was someone I wanted to call while I was sober. I needed to call Victoria and tell her...what? The truth? Yeah right.
    I'd have to be an idiot to believe the truth would set me free. I'd told her the truth once, and the only thing it had done was rob me of her. This truth would break her. Break me. She'd never look at me with need again. She'd look at me with disgust. She couldn't even say the name ‘Macone’ without scowling. What would she think when I told her I worked for him?
    I avoided the phone on top of my dresser, not ready for the pound of flesh it required. I couldn't pretend anymore. Not after last night. I'd have to confirm her suspicions. That back then, I was just afraid. I had been good, damn near innocent compared to all the blood on my hands now.
    But still I wanted her. I needed her.
    I needed to believe that I could be redeemed.
    Two knocks sounded at my door. The only thing that kept me from frowning was knowing it couldn't be my grandmother; the old witch didn't knock. Reason #1,345 I had to move out of here.
    I went to the door, swallowing my yawn.
    Uncle Tommy stood at the door. His brown eyes reminded me of a moth, unable to sit still, bouncing all over the place. He was either hyped up on something or fresh off beating the shit out of someone.
    I envied him. This would all be so