Free A Fall of Marigolds by Susan Meissner Page B

woman to dissipate, but it only grew stronger. He confessed that he had asked her to marry him and she had said yes.
    He was very sorry.
    He never meant to hurt me.
    He wished me all the best.
    My parents, bless them, could tell without asking what Daniel had said in his letter. Henrietta figured it out, too, but begged for the details so that she could properly commiserate. I let her read the letter. Henrietta told me I deserved better, and that I should go away for a while to somewhere fabulous so that I could occupy my mind with thoughts wholly unrelated to Daniel Borden. She knew, as everyone close to me did, that before I had longed for Daniel Borden, I had longed for the colors of the big city.
    I waited a few months for the wound to scab over, and decided Henrietta was right.
    But I didn’t want to go away just for a while. I wanted to get away permanently. I wanted to go to New York. Leaving as an unmarried woman meant I had to have a job.
    There was really only one reason I chose nursing school.
    The truth is I am good at fixing things. I like fixing things. Sick people are broken people and I like to make them whole again.
    Nursing school was easy. My father had already taught me nearly everything I needed to know, and what he hadn’t, I was able to learn quickly. School gave me wings to leave rural Pennsylvania for Philadelphia, and my diploma gave me wings to Manhattan.
    Where I fell in love for the third time.
    •   •   •
    I awoke the morning after showing Dolly the letter, amazed and relieved that I hadn’t dreamed of the fire. When I had finally crawled into bed the night before, it seemed the very room smelled like burned things and sleep seemed a very unsafe place to retreat to. I lay awake a long time thinking about what Dolly had said about my being unwilling to leave the island because I was afraid of finding out Edward didn’t love me in return.
    She had just about accused me of loving a dream.
    Reality was a ferryboat ride away on the streets of New York and I was on the island, in an in-between place where dreams lived instead.
    Dreams were all that was good on Ellis. Dreams kept the immigrants hopeful when complications loomed like a dark shadow and held them here with a heavy hand.
    Sleep finally found me, and my dream makers were merciful. I slept soundly. Dolly had to shake me awake at sunrise.
    I lay there for a few moments in the gray light of dawn, orienting myself to the day at hand. We ended our shift early on Saturday. Most of the staff would be on the ferry to the mainland before sunset. The only ones who stayed were the ones who had shifts to work on Sunday. I wasn’t scheduled to work tomorrow. Nothing prevented me from accepting Dolly’s invitation except that I had no desire to go. Stepping foot on Manhattan would be the beginning of something and the end of something else. I didn’t want anything to end and I didn’t want anything to begin. I turned over in my bed. The poetry book and its folded contents lay on my bedside table. I rose from bed, pulled up the blankets, and tucked the book under my pillow.
    After I dressed, we walked to the staff dining hall for breakfast and then made our way to the reception area for Saturday’s arrivals to the hospital.
    “Did you decide?” Dolly asked quietly as we went down the corridor with the other nurses.
    I honestly wasn’t sure what she meant. I assumed she meant was I going to go to New York with her tonight.
    “I’m not ready yet, Dolly.”
    “I mean the letter. It was as plain as day you weren’t going to say yes to dancing with me tonight.”
    I frowned at her. “I thought about it. I’m just not ready for dancing.”
    “Suit yourself. What about the letter?”
    I shrugged my shoulders. “Haven’t decided.”
    “Want me to give it to him?”
    I wheeled on her. “Why on earth would I want you to do that? I don’t want you breathing a word of this to him. Or to anyone!”
    “Oh, shush. I am not going to say