Free Yours Accidentally by Madhur Nevatia Page A

resort, absence of work pressure, and the opportunity
to spend quality time with each other...if all this could not make her open up,
what would? To top all this, he looked better than ever. What more could a man
do?
    Sameera
danced to the music almost mechanically, her mind was elsewhere but there was
no getting away now; anything she wanted to tell Gautam would have to wait. The
rest of the evening was spent by Tanya’s side. There was still no sign of
Gautam.
    “You can’t
expect him to be around for two days of back-to-back nach gaana , but he
did put his best foot forward,” Sanjay explained to her.
    ≈

 
    TWENTY-ONE
     
     
    She lingered
outside his cottage for a long time and finally mustered the courage to knock
but there was no answer. She had his number but was too nervous to call him. He
could be at the beach or at the fort, but how could she be brazen enough to
pursue him there? It was a calm, peaceful night, not a soul stirred. All she
wanted to do was see him.
    With her
sandals in her hand and her heart pounding, she walked on the soft sands
looking for him. Where the hell was he? She tried calling out for him. No
response. Exhausted, she sank on the soft sand as the tears rolled down her
cheeks. She sat there crying for what seemed to be an eternity and finally
trudged back to her cottage.
    As she fumbled
with the keys in the darkness, a voice called out “Need help?” She swung around
to find Gautam sitting in one of the cane chairs in the darkness.
    “Goodness,
why are you crying? Here, let me open the door.”
    “You stupid
man, I’m not crying because I couldn’t open the door.” She hit him hard on his
shoulder.
    “Ouch! What
was that for? Stop crying for once and sit down. Where were you? I’ve been
waiting here for ages.” Sameera started sobbing again. Gautam led her into the
room and seated her on the bed. He pointed to the bed, “Can I sit next to you?”
She nodded. He got her a glass of water and some tissues and sat down beside
her, wiped her tears gently and urged her to take a sip of water. She was still
clutching her sandals. He took them from her and put them down. Tucking strands
of her hair behind her ears, he finally asked, “Why are you so sad?”
    “I’m tired
of taking care of myself.” Her body heaved with her sobs. “I know I’m partly to
blame but I’m scared to trust anyone, but also scared to spend the rest of my
life alone.”
    “Oh Sameera,
how can someone as lovely as you worry about spending your life alone? But
before that, there are other things that you have to figure out. Why don’t you
just try to relax and get some sleep right now? We could catch up some time
tomorrow.”
    “No Gautam,
please don’t go now. I must tell you something.”
    “Okay, then,
but first go and freshen up.”
    When Sameera
came back, she’d half expected Gautam to have left. But she was pleasantly
surprised; he was waiting patiently in the garden with a room service order of
coffee and sandwiches. Washed and scrubbed, she looked like a timid schoolgirl
in her pajamas. Gautam insisted that she eat first. She was ravenous and only
when she bit into the sandwich did she realize that she had eaten nothing since
evening. He poured her some coffee and sat quietly, waiting for her to finish.
Dressed casually he looked young, but he had an air of maturity and authority
around him that made him look older and wiser than he probably was.
    “It happened
many years ago. I was engaged to a guy named Kabir...” He knew her history; it
would be difficult for her to relive the trauma, but she needed the catharsis.
He held her hand, occasionally wiping her tears, gazing straight into her eyes.
    “How do I
bring myself to trust my judgment again?” Her voice was reduced to a hoarse
whisper. She rested her face on his chest.
    He gently
stroked her hair, “Sameera, I wish I could wipe away your pain. I cannot begin
to tell you how sorry I am. I know there is no way I can fathom the