Mission: Earth "Death Quest"

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Book: Mission: Earth "Death Quest" by Ron L. Hubbard Read Free Book Online
Authors: Ron L. Hubbard
Tags: sf_humor
your duty as well as I do mine," I raged at him, "we'd get someplace. And you're not getting to Florida where you belong!"
    "There's no second plane until noon," he said. "Place sure stinks of flowers. Smells like a mortuary."
    That did it. "Get out!" I screamed at him and kicked him out the door.
    Having abreacted my hostilities, I felt better. I went to Krak's viewer to check it. The picture was not quite as good with the activator-receiver in this low place but it was adequate. I got interested in what Krak was doing.
    They had returned to the office and Krak was sitting at a white secretarial desk looking in the white pages of the New York telephone directory. Her finger was travelling down a page. She was muttering, "Rocha... Rochelle... Rock... Rocket... Rockford..." She looked up. She muttered, "A-B-C-D-E-F. E-F..."
    Bang-Bang's voice. "Miss Joy." She looked up. He was sitting at the bar drinking a cup of coffee. "If you tell me what you're trying to do, maybe I can help."
    "I'm trying to find the personal telephone number of Delbert John Rockecenter."
    "WHAT?" said Bang-Bang, slopping his coffee.
    "Well, you needn't look so surprised," said Krak. "On a civilized planet, nearly everybody has a communication call sign. How otherwise would you get in touch with them if you had some vital news about their family?"
    "Well, Jesus-beggin' your pardon, ma'am-Delbert John Rockecenter is just about the most important man there is. You don't just go phoning people like that. Maybe you better tell me what this is all about." He came over, his coffee forgotten.
    "It's a very simple matter. Look at this geometry plot." She got the huge sheet Heller had done and spread it open on the desk.
    It was, of course, in Voltarian except for the words "Pokantickle Estates, Hairytown, N. Y.," "Octopus Oil Building" and "Delbert John Rockecenter." Bang-Bang was twisting his head this way and that, trying to figure out what all these spirals and words were. It would surely have been a Code break except that he didn't seem to know the Voltarian symbols and letters were more than designs. "Maybe you better explain it," said Bang-Bang, defeated.
    "Well, Delbert John Rockecenter is the emperor," said the Countess Krak.
    "Oh, I see," said Bang-Bang. "This is some kind of an idea for a new game like Monopoly."
    "No," said Krak patiently. "It shows Rockecenter controls the planet utterly."
    "Well, hell-beggin' your pardon, ma'am-that don't take no fancy diagram to figure out. Everybody knows that. For the last century the Rockecenter family has been taking over from other mobs and now Delbert John owns and controls all the real estate and rackets. I guess 'emperor' would be a fancy name like capo di tutti capi, but it really don't embrace all that Rockecenter really controls. He's into everybody's pocket, too. He controls every oil company and I can't fill up the cab's tank without helping make Rockecenter rich. I can't buy an aspirin without helping make Rockecenter rich. I can't even drink a cup of coffee without stuffing more dough in the Rockecenter coffers. Everybody knows that. So what's the urgent notice doing on the regimental bulletin board?"
    "He's got a son," said Krak triumphantly.
    n
    "Well, hell, no-beggin' your pardon, ma'am. He ain't got no wife and he for sure ain't got no son. I helped Jet tear the library apart one day just making sure."
    "That's just it," said Krak. "Delbert John Rocke-center doesn't know he has a son."
    "WHAT?"
    "Aha! So it surprises you, too," said the Countess Krak. "But it is a fact. I've got it all worked out. Delbert John was playing around-beggin' your pardon, Bang-Bang-and he got himself a son. But he didn't know it. He has a lawyer named Bury. So Bury hid the son and hid the fact from Rockecenter and as there is no heir, the empire will then pass straight into the hands of Bury."
    "Jesus Christ."
    "Now, Jettero is trying to Fix up the planet's fuel situation. He doesn't have much time. Rockecenter controls

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