Free The Surrogate by Ann Somerville Page B

but not in the least joyful or satisfying. I suppose that was a relief to me—I would have hated to find I came to like such a situation.
    The rest of the time I was making a study of Jaime and of the other servants. The disdain they held him in was less on account of what he did, than his cold, superior attitude, which they felt was him looking down on them. I was coming to realise it was just his way of protecting himself from people, who he found a source of unrelieved pain. Why he was like that, and why he was in this situation, I had yet to find out. But I had already learned that he had only been in the temple for four years. Before that, there had been another surrogate who’d disappeared. No one knew what his fate was. I had an uneasy feeling that he too was fertilising a few roses, but no one really had any clue to offer. One day the man disappeared—a week later, Jaime turned up, and he’d been cold and distant from the start. The surrogate previous to the one who’d disappeared had died. Mia was the only one who knew much about them but she’d only been at the temple for seven years, so if there had been other surrogates, she didn’t know about it. The other surrogates had not been, so I learned, particularly warm or happy people either, but Jaime had really put noses out of joint, and in doing so, had lost potential allies.
    It was beginning to sound like he’d been chosen for his role against his wishes, reluctantly obeying the dictates of his religion. It might explain a lot—the resentment, the coldness, the wish for solitude. But I was damned if I could work out the reason for his grief, and his strange restraint in his appetites of all kinds. It was almost as if he was punishing himself.
    I had to get out of the temple—I was spending too much time worrying about a man who cared nothing for me, nor me for him, and who was only going to be part of my life for a couple of months.
    At last it was two weeks after my arrival. We had served the god the night before, so I wasn’t sure Jaime was going to cooperate in letting me go, but to my surprise, after breakfast, he gave me a small leather purse and a key to the rooms. “There are three silver pieces in there—an advance on your salary so if you waste it, that’s your loss. It has to last you a week, there will be no more. Don’t try to remove or sell your collar and bracelet, do not attempt to have sexual contact with anyone, and be back before midnight.”
    “ That’s it?”
    “ What more do you want?”
    “ Er.... I was expecting more trouble, that’s all.”
    “ I think you’ll probably manage to find that on your own.” He rubbed his eyes. He looked very sad this morning.
    “ Would you like to come with me?”
    He stopped rubbing his eyes and stared at me. “Why?”
    “ Um...for company? Fresh air? Something different from books?”
    The wrong thing to say. “I like my books,” he said with a steely glare.
    I held my hands up in surrender. “I know, I know. Do you want me to fetch anything while I’m out?”
    He hesitated, then shook his head. “No. Thank you. I...I’ll be going out myself. Perhaps tomorrow.”
    “ Then we can go together.”
    “ Nikolas, just get out of here, will you?”
    He wasn’t angry, but equally he wasn’t in a mood to talk to me, so I gave up. He told me how to find the main temple entrance, and warned me not to speak of my new position to anyone. That was why I needed the cloak, apparently—to avoid questions. It made sense, I supposed.
    Being out in sunlight and breathing air that didn’t smell vaguely (or strongly) of burnt flesh was such a relief I nearly cried. I didn’t know how Jaime could stand it, especially when he had the option of going out just as I was.
    Oh well. The streets seemed as busy as ever, and were a welcome sight after two weeks’ seclusion—somehow it had felt longer. I wondered what to do with my wealth and my leisure. I’d not actually spent any time in Egin