Free A Note in the Margin by Isabelle Rowan Page A

the water flow. “Do you want me to leave?”

    The thought of John seeing him naked horrified David, but he knew he’d need help getting into the bath. He attempted to slow his breathing and with gritted teeth set his fingers to work on his fly. The button was larger and he was able to unfasten it with relative ease; he slid the zipper down and lowered his pants, wobbling slightly as he stepped out of them.
     
    Glancing over, John experienced a mix of anger and regret at the sight of David’s body. It could have been so beautiful under different circumstances. But he quickly looked away, seeing David’s embarrassment. “It’s okay, Dave. Come on.” John held out his hands and supported David while he tentatively stepped into the bath.

    Once in the warmth of the water, David’s resolve left him. He pulled his knees up and turned his face to the wall. I shouldn’t have come here…. I should have stayed in the park. It’s wrong for John to have to do this.

    John stood and watched him for a moment at a loss of what to do. He knew he should give David some privacy but didn’t want to leave him. He hovered at the edge of the bathroom door before making a decision. “I’ll get you something to wear. Take your time.”

    A barely perceptible nod of the head was the only indication that David had heard him.
     
    John walked to his bedroom, where he gathered the same clothes he gave David to sleep in the last time and some bed linen to make up the couch.

    While tucking in the blanket John kept playing one thing over and over in his head. He came to me. After the way I treated him, he still came to me. By the time the bed was made John almost itched to be back in the bathroom with David.
     
    When John carried the clothes to the bathroom he saw that David had managed to lift himself out of the bath and was sitting on its edge wrapped in John’s favorite bath sheet. He was clean and the cut had finally stopped bleeding. He looked up at John, exhaustion clear in his eyes.

    “They’re the same ones as last time,” John said for want of something better to say and left the track pants and T-shirt on the chair. He gave David an almost shy smile and left him to dress.
     
    Once out the door, John didn’t venture far from the bathroom and leaned against the wall watching his hands rub nervously together until David emerged. David was slightly startled by John’s close proximity, but settled when he saw the bed made up for him; he needed to sleep.

    John straightened up quickly, his hand raised as if to touch David’s arm before dropping equally fast to his side. He saw David looking at the makeshift bed and shook his head. “Oh um, that’s for me. You can have… ah, my bed tonight.” John blushed a little at the mention of his bed and mentally kicked himself for wording it that way. David looked at him curiously, making John feel even more flustered. He attempted a quick cover-up with the action of moving into the bedroom, hoping David would follow. “The bedroom is through here. It’s a warm bed, but the heater switch is there if you get cold.” John suddenly ran out of words, feeling very self-conscious standing so close to David in his bedroom. Sensing John’s discomfort, David misinterpreted its origin; he lowered his face and mumbled “Thank you.”

    John nodded and left the room, closing the door quietly behind him. He let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and grabbed a glass, which he promptly filled with scotch. He gulped a couple of mouthfuls before rubbing his fingers wearily over his eyes. What the hell are you doing, McCann?

    The green glow of the DVD display was the only thing John could see when he sat up startled out of a troubled sleep. He didn’t know what had woken him so suddenly and found it difficult to orientate himself in the gloom of the windowless room. He sat on the edge of the couch waiting for the rush of his heartbeat to cease in his ears so he could listen