Free Fire In His Eyes by MJ Nightingale Page A

warning me off. “Okay,” I said hesitantly and I waited for him to continue.
    “My life is complicated.  I have a lot going on with switching careers, seeing what direction my life is going to take.  I am still in the reserves, so one weekend a month it is all about that.  Two weekends a month I have family obligations, and it’s all about them.  I don’t have time for a full time relationship.  There are things going on that I don’t want to talk about with you.  I am busy right now with trying to start up this new business.  I can tell already, you are a good girl, who deserves someone who will put you first, but I just can’t do that right now, if ever.  I can give you one weekend a month maybe, and one or two nights a week.”  When I didn’t respond right away, he continued. “Look, you can even see other people if you like?”  Then he waited.
    Other pe ople?  I only met him four days ago, but instinctively knew no one could compare. It just wasn’t in me to juggle two guys at once. I also didn’t want to be just a casual occasional sexual encounter. Again, I wondered why he was pushing me away. I chose my words carefully.
    “Victor, I like you, a lot,” I emphasized. I am willing to take what you can give me for now.  I like my life; it is simple and not complicated.  I am not interested in seeing two guys at the same time, ever.  It is just not who I am.  Can’t we just enjoy the time we have together when we are together and worry about the rest later. If it’s because you want to see other girls when you are not with me then. . .” I lowered my gaze and left the thought unfinished.  It bothered me too much to think about it at the moment.
    His smile was like diamonds.  “ No, Monica that’s not it at all.   Please believe me when I tell you it’s not that.  I don’t have time for one relationship, let alone two.  Please don’t think that.  I just don’t want to be unfair to you.  But, I was hoping you would say something like that.  I don’t like to share, but I can’t commit.  I just wanted to give you the opportunity so you weren’t waiting around for me all the time.  I can’t do dates, work stuff, family gatherings.  I’ve already explained I can do one weekend a month, and maybe one or two nights a week.  Don’t fall in love with me.  I’m pretty busy. I don’t want entanglements, arguments, or drama because you’re home twiddling your thumbs for three weekends a month resenting me.  I just want to draw the line in the sand.  This is all I can offer.  If you’re sure that you can handle this, then I am game.”  He pulled the boat to shore, and then carefully stood to cross the boat to sit beside me.  I was feeling a little lost at the moment.  He cautiously placed his hands on my face and whispered, “You are so beautiful, Monica.”  Then he kissed me for the first time that morning.  In the warm spring breeze it helped to melt some of the ice that had formed around my heart at his words.  It was soft, and tentative, not rushed or demanding like the others we had shared.  When it ended, he gazed into my eyes, and asked me one more time, “Are you sure?”
    “ Yes, I’m, sure,” I whispered putting my head onto his chest inhaling his scent.
    After a minute h e pulled us apart, and gazed down into my eyes.  My emotions were in turmoil; and I was never any good at hiding my feelings, and so probably seeing the confusion and uncertainty there, he stated.  “You don’t ask a lot of questions, Monica.” Because I was afraid of the answers. “If you did ask, I want you to know I don’t have the answers right now.  But, I promise, I will share my burden with you when I am ready, ok?”
    “Okay,” my voice quavered. It was the tell-tale sound that I felt like crying.  He kissed me again, long enough and tenderly enough to give me a little hope that this relationship or whatever it was going to be wasn’t doomed from the