Free An O'Brien Family Christmas by Sherryl Woods Page A

loved?
     
     
    “This hands-off business is good for us, don’t you agree?” Laila asked as she and Matthew followed the winding stone walkway that led along the edge of the sea at Howth. It curved around to create a charming marina that reminded her of Harbor Lights back home.
    They’d left Nell and Dillon in a cozy café sipping tea and eating scones. When Laila and Matthew had gone off on their own to explore, Nell had been complaining that the scones weren’t nearly as good as her own.
    Now, with the sea splashing against the rocks and a brisk wind blowing, Laila was chilled through, but she’d never been happier. The sun was playing tag with heavy, dark clouds and mostly winning, at least for the moment.
    “You look half-frozen,” Matthew noted. “Are you sure you don’t want to go back and have a cup of tea?”
    “Soon,” she said. “Right now I just want to absorb the fact that I’m here in this lovely place.”
    “With me?” he asked quietly.
    She turned to face him. “With you,” she agreed solemnly. “That’s what I meant before. I think we’re seeing each other differently, now that ripping each other’s clothes off isn’t an option.”
    He smiled at that. “Is that so? How do you see me now?”
    “As a wonderfully mature, complicated man who adores his grandmother,” she said, then tilted her head thoughtfully. “And maybe adores me.”
    Heat flashed in his eyes. “I do adore you.” His expression turned serious. “I love you, Laila. For months now, I’ve made no secret of that.”
    The words settled into a secret room in her heart and warmed her, but still she said, “I’m not sure I’m ready to believe that yet.”
    He looked puzzled. “What do you mean? You think I’m lying?”
    “Of course not,” she said at once. “But if I believe you, if I accept that your feelings really do run that deep, then there will be decisions to be made, won’t there? I’m not ready to face those decisions. Just being with you has cost me a lot. I have to deal with that, Matthew. Otherwise, I’ll wind up resenting you, which wouldn’t be fair at all. That’s why I called things off before.”
    “Do you really not know your own heart?” he asked. “Or is it that you don’t trust mine?”
    “A little of both,” she admitted candidly, hating the hurt she saw in his eyes. “But that’s why this time is so precious, Matthew. We’ve taken the pressure off. There’s nothing that has to be decided today or tomorrow or even the next day. We’re just here together.” She regarded him hopefully. “Can’t that be enough for you for now?”
    “For now,” he conceded eventually, then added earnestly, “But I want more, Laila. I want it all—the house, the family, the future. I won’t settle for less, and I won’t wait forever.”
    She frowned at what sounded a lot like an ultimatum. “It’s not entirely up to you, you know.”
    “Believe me, I get that. You’ve made all the rules up to now. If you ask me, some of them haven’t worked out so well, especially the one that kept our families in the dark. Maybe it’s time I made a few rules of my own.”
    She regarded him with a narrowed gaze. “Such as?”
    “Not letting you treat this relationship as if it’s something to be ashamed of, for one thing. Surely, around my family at least, we can be open about it. They’ve done nothing but accept us as a couple.”
    “Agreed,” she said at once. “Hiding it from them was a mistake, no question about it.”
    “Okay, then. And we won’t let your father dictate what happens between us.”
    She regarded Matthew with annoyance. “I thought I’d made it clear that my father’s not involved in my decisions any longer.”
    He tucked a finger under her chin and forced her to meet his gaze. “I know you want to believe that, want to stick to it, but his opinion still matters to you. I just want you to commit to not letting it be the deciding factor.”
    Sadly, she could see his