Free Until Forever by E. L. Todd Page B

for me. I didn’t know how long she’d wait, maybe until closing. I didn’t move from my spot on the couch.
    Finally, I cursed in frustration then left my apartment.
     
    I walked inside then immediately noticed her blonde hair. It was still golden like the sun. She met my gaze but didn’t react. There was no triumph or joy. I came to the table then slid into the booth. She was drinking an ice water.
    “Thanks for coming,” she said quietly.
    I leaned back and stared her down. “What do you want?”
    She didn’t flinch at my hostility. It was like she expected it. “I wanted to talk.”
    “About what?” I snapped. “There’s nothing to say. If you want to hook up again, forget it. I don’t want you.”
    Her eyes betrayed the pain she felt at those words. But it disappeared quickly. “Mike, I’m so sorry for hurting you. I—”
    I held up my hand. “I’m over it. Don’t feel bad for me.”
    “But I’m still—”
    “Honestly, I don’t give a shit.” I gave her a look of hatred. I’d always despise her for what she did to me.
    She looked down at the table for a moment then found her courage again. “I made a mistake…”
    “A mistake?”
    “I miss you. I…I hate being apart from you. I think about you all the time, wondering what you’re doing. I think about the way you get toothpaste all over your face when you brush your teeth. I remember the sounds of your breathing when we sleep together. In the darkness of my bedroom, I still hear it. I know I said I didn’t want to get married, but I’ve changed my mind. I want to be with you forever…” She gave me a look full of emotion. “I know I hurt you and I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make that up to you.”
    I processed her words, replaying them in my mind. “You want me back?”
    “Not just that,” she whispered. “I want to marry you, have kids with you…get that house in Connecticut. I want it all.”
    After she burned me, I never expected her to say this. “Where the hell is this coming from? You just woke up one morning and changed your mind?”
    “Being without you every day changed my mind.”
    “When we slept together three weeks ago, you seemed pretty damn determined to live your life without me. You watched me walk out, tears in my eyes. And you change d your mind?” The anger roared through my body. “Fuck you.”
    She flinched at my hostility. “I’m sorry…”
    “And you think I’m just going to take you back like nothing happened?” I laughed despite the seriousness of the situation. “Not gonna happen. You think I’m going to fall for that bullshit? We’ll get back together, and a few months down the road, you’ll change your mind and say you aren’t ready for that. I’m not interested in playing games.”
    “I won’t change my mind,” she said firmly. “I know what I want now.”
    “How convenient…”
    “Mike, I’m sorry. I really am…”
    “That doesn’t mean anything to me. You’ve shattered both my heart and my soul. There’s nothing left but my flesh and bone. I’m empty inside. Mike isn’t here anymore.”
    “Yes, he is…”
    “I begged you to change your mind but you still walked out on me. I gave you everything but you still wanted to leave. You never trusted me. Not once.”
    “I do trust you.”
    I shook my head “We’re never getting back together. End of story.”
    Her eyes coated with moisture. “What…?”
    “I don’t want to get married—ever. It’s not for me. You were right when you said marriage was a bad decision. People don’t love each other. They just use each other so they aren’t lonely. My parents were married for twenty-five years and they walked away from each other. All people do is hurt each other. Love isn’t real. People just confuse it with lust and infatuation. All people are selfish and evil. How can love exist among such a collective group of soulless and selfish people? It doesn’t.”
    “Mike, that isn’t true. We love each