Free Copperback by Tarah R. Hamilton Page A

could have handled it a few years ago.
I’m not even sure you can handle it now, but I don’t have a choice.”
    I
wasn’t angry with her as much as I was with my mom for what she did. She had
been selfish and left us because she wanted to play hero. I uncrossed my arms
long enough to wipe the tears that had formed. “I’m sorry I blamed you. I
didn’t know it wasn’t your fault.” I could feel the barrier around me fall when
I said it. I had it up for so long, trying to make up an excuse for why she was
gone. Sally was right. I never would have been able to grasp the magnitude of
what she had set out to accomplish back then. I would have instead become
bitter toward her, and forced any good memories out. It was easier for Sally to
take the blame.
    “It’s
ok. I’m sorry I never told you.” Sally reached out to hug me. It was a welcome
embrace. There was so much I still didn’t understand, but for a second I could
just feel love. I didn’t want to let go. It would mean having to come back to
reality. She pulled away and brought back her serious tone.
    “I
need to know what you want to do. It’s very late, and one of us still has to be
at work in the morning.”
    My
head was in overload. It was already going on 2 am. I was tired, everything
still hurt, and I had run the gamut of emotions in just a few short hours. I
needed to absorb everything I had taken in before making a choice. “Give me
some time to think it over. He doesn’t have to leave tonight, but how soon can
you move him? You know he would be better off in your care. I can’t even keep a
plant alive.”
    She
gave a small chuckle at my comment. It wasn’t as funny as it was true. The
proof of that was the brown African violet sitting in a pot on the counter in
the kitchen. Sally had bought it for me as a birthday gift in June. It wasn’t
even August, and it had already withered and died from lack of water and
attention.
    Sally
stopped laughing and went back to being serious again. “I wouldn’t bet on him
making it through the night. If he does, the next couple of days are going to
be critical. I’m not sure how fast he heals, or how severe the internal
injuries are. At least a week, but I would prefer not to move him at all for
about three weeks. I may have been able to set his leg, but it’s not as stable
as I would like it to be, and if he tries to get up, it’s going to move back
out of place, even with the splint.”
    Three
weeks? How was I supposed to babysit for three weeks? I knew I didn’t have much
of a life outside of the house, and had taken care of Chase for so many years,
but this was different: a stranger in my home that I would have to care for.
When he woke, I would have to look him in the eye and remind myself why I was
doing this.
    “I
can’t do this alone,” I said. “I have no idea what to do. What do I do about
work?” The questions were running around in my head. I wasn’t ready to take on
such a big chore.
    “I
can make a list of things you may need to get him or help him with. I will give
you the next week off. I’ll even pay you double for the week. I know it’s
asking a lot, but if I do it, I’ll get noticed a lot faster. I’ll make the
excuse that you caught the flu. I know it’s been going around again, so it
won’t sound obvious. I’ll even come over after work each day to check on you
both. After the first week, you can come back to work. I’m sure by then he will
be well enough to be by himself for longer periods of time.” Sally had already
begun to write a list.
    “But
what if he…well, if he–” I didn’t want to say it out loud.
    “Dies?”
    “Yeah.”
    “If
it happens, then it happens. I wouldn’t be able to do anything to save him at
this point. We just have to wait it out.” Sally sounded hopeful.
    I
wanted to see the cup half-full like her. Right then, it just felt empty.

5.
    After
seeing Sally off, I knew it wouldn’t be long before I myself would fall asleep.
I made my