Free Apeshit by Iii Carlton Mellick Page B

to hold it in after hearing what Rick
    just said, but it splashes out of her without her control.

    “I’ve been falling out of love with you for a long
    time now,” he says. “With your tattoos and your mohawk.
    You’re just not the Desdemona I used to know. Something’s
    happened to you.”

    “You’re breaking up with me now ?” Desdemona
    says. “After what happened to Stephanie? While I’m in the
    middle of taking a dump?”

    He didn’t realize she was shitting. He just heard
    splashing noises and thought she was only peeing. His nos-
    trils cringe at her.

    “You’re dumping me while I’m taking a dump?” She
    almost wants to laugh at that, but she’s not in the mood.

    Stepping back to avoid the smell, he says, “After
    how you reacted to my operation I realized that you’re not
    somebody I want to be with anymore. I think I just want to
    be alone with Kevin for awhile.”

    “Does Kevin know about this?” she asks. “Is he
    dumping me, too?”

    “I haven’t talked to him, yet,” he says.

    “You can’t dump me without getting his approval.
    This is a threesome relationship. He’s my boyfriend just as
    much as he is yours. How do you know he doesn’t want to
    stay with me and get rid of you?”

    “Because I’ve been together with him longer than
    you,” he says.

    “Not really,” she says. “You were only friends with
    him for longer. If you remember correctly I was his lover
    before you were.”

    “He loves me more than he loves you,” Rick says.

    “He doesn’t love you more,” Desdemona says. “He’s
    not even gay.”

    Rick gasps like she had just knocked the wind out of him.

    “He’s not attracted to you,” she says. “He never
    wanted to be dragged into this relationship with you in the
    first place. The only reason he started sleeping with you is
    because he was afraid of losing you as a friend.”

    By the way he glares at her, Desdemona realizes that
    what she just said upset him more strongly than she thought
    it would. Perhaps because he knows there’s some truth to
    that. Perhaps he’s known for a long time now.

    “Fuck you, Des,” he says. “It’s over.”

    Then he turns around and walks away. Desdemona
    stands up to chase after him but another wave of diarrhea
    hits her and she is forced to squat down and continue. She
    winces as she feels her liquid shit running downhill and col-
    lecting against her bare foot.

    “Ewww, gross ,” she says. “I’m never shitting in the
    woods again.”

    Desdemona realizes she is alone in the middle of the
    woods, barefoot, shit in her toes, her underwear around her
    knees, and she can’t stop going to the bathroom. The cabin
    is an acre or two away. She can see a few of the cabin’s
    lights up ahead, but she can’t see much of the cabin. It is
    silent around her. There isn’t even a breeze.

    A rustling sound approaches her. It is the sound of an
    animal running through the bushes. She turns around. There
    is nothing there. She grabs some leaves from the ground and
    wipes her ass, but most of the leaves are mixed with dried
    pine needles that pierce and scratch her skin raw. She tries
    again, but she can’t wipe it properly without toilet paper.

    Something charges out of the bushes and runs past
    her. She doesn’t know what it is. All she can see is move-
    ment. A gray blur. It rushes through the trees toward the
    cabin.

    Desdemona quickly wipes her ass with her hand and
    rubs it against the bark of a nearby tree. She pulls her un-
    derwear up and crawls slowly forward, trying not to make a
    sound. It was something big and something fast. Either a
    deer or a really fast human.

    After a few minutes of examining the distance, and
    seeing nothing, Desdemona decides that it must have been a
    deer. She straightens herself up, getting ready to head back.
    Then she realizes that she’s extremely dirty and smells like
    shit, yet she won’t be able to take a shower any time soon.
    She’ll have to use