Free Out of the Blue by Jill Shalvis Page B

"I didn't realize what you were doing then," he said. Though he should have when he thought about it, should have questioned why she hadn't told him they were booked, why she'd crawled into bed with him. "I'm sorry."
    A grimace crossed her face. "Great. You didn't realize. And you can wonder why I needed tips?"
    He didn't know what to do about her. She was getting to him, entering the never-before-penetrated zone around his heart, and he didn't want her there. "I don't care that you didn't know what you were doing."
    "You … don't?"
    "No." In fact, he couldn't get that little tidbit out of his head. In his wildest imagination he never would have thought her being inexperienced could be such a turn-on. "I guess what I care about is that you decided to … gain experience, and I just happened along. Any guy would have done."
    "Oh, Zach." Her hand reached out, touched his chest. Electrified him. "No. That's not true."
    "What if I hadn't shown up?"
    She shoved back her hair and made a face when her fingers came in contact with a strawberry. "I don't know," she admitted.
    Her honesty was nice, but frustrating. "That's just one of the reasons why we can't, Hannah."
    "And the others?"
    "Because… " Why? He suddenly couldn't remember. "Because you're Alexi's friend!"
    "And here I thought you were such a wild rebel." Disdain crossed her face. "A true wild rebel wouldn't care about that."
    "Okay then, how about because I've known you forever."
    "That's silly. We're grown-ups now."
    "We can't because… " His brain raced desperately. "Because I'm only here a few more days and you deserve more than that."
    That irritated her. "I can decide what I deserve, thank you very much. For your information, I'm not looking for a relationship."
    God help him. "That's supposed to make it okay? That you're just looking for sex?" he asked incredulously. No doubt, he was insane. This beautiful, intelligent, wonderful woman wanted him for sex only, and he was actually trying to talk her out of it. He should have his head examined.
    "You don't want me." She looked devastated. "That's it. It's okay, I understand."
    "I don't think you do."
    "No, really."
    "I want you." His voice was thick with that wanting. "But this is wrong."
    "How can it be wrong? When I'm with you, I feel different. Good."
    Well, great. Terrific. She felt good, and obviously he'd been the one to make her feel that way, which was great for the ego, but he was still confused as hell. And he had absolutely no idea how to proceed.
    There was no denying certain life facts.
    One, he still had time off.
    Two, his side hurt only a little.
    Three, he had Hannah watching him with the expression that made him want her more than he could remember ever wanting a woman, which reminded him that there was another night just in front of them, and then several more after that. "I feel good, too," he admitted. "With you."
    The hope that statement put in her eyes was bad. Very bad. It meant that he was going to have to be the grown-up here. "Look, maybe I should go with my first instincts," he said. "The lodge is still booked. I'm sure there's other inns nearby, one that I can stay in—"
    "No!" She reached out for him, touching his arms, brushing her body against his. Which meant she also brushed strawberry pie against him. He tried to mind, but didn't. "Don't leave. I don't want to feel as though I chased you away just because I—"
    "Want my body?"
    When he smiled, she laughed a little. "Yeah. Well, I'm a mess." Her smile seemed weak now. "I should clean up."
    And he should offer to help. She wanted him to. But he didn't trust her not to try to seduce him again, and he didn't trust himself enough to resist her efforts.
    "Well… " Her smile faded slowly. "See you later."
    Another drop of strawberry slid down her collarbone, disappearing into the bodice of her dress with the rest. He watched it go, his mouth dry. His fingers itched, and at his sides, he fisted them. "Yeah. See you."
    * * *
    Much later