Free Brick Shakespeare: The Comedies—A Midsummer Night's Dream, The Tempest, Much Ado About Nothing, and The Taming of the Shrew by John McCann, Monica Sweeney, Becky Thomas Page A

I will give him some relief, if it be but for that. If I can recover him and keep him tame and get to Naples with him, he’s a present for any emperor that ever trod on neat’s leather.

    CALIBAN
    Do not torment me, prithee; I’ll bring my wood home faster.
    STEPHANO
    He’s in his fit now and does not talk after the wisest. He shall taste of my bottle: if he have never drunk wine afore will go near to remove his fit. If I can recover him and keep him tame, I will not take too much for him; he shall pay for him that hath him, and that soundly.

    CALIBAN
    Thou dost me yet but little hurt; thou wilt anon, I know it by thy trembling: now Prosper works upon thee.
    STEPHANO
    Come on your ways; open your mouth; here is that which will give language to you, cat: open your mouth; this will shake your shaking, I can tell you, and that soundly: you cannot tell who’s your friend: open your chaps again.

    TRINCULO
    I should know that voice: it should be—but he is drowned; and these are devils: O defend me!

    STEPHANO
    Four legs and two voices: a most delicate monster!
    His forward voice now is to speak well of his friend; his backward voice is to utter foul speeches and to detract. If all the wine in my bottle will recover him, I will help his ague. Come. Amen! I will pour some in thy other mouth.

    TRINCULO
    Stephano!
    STEPHANO
    Doth thy other mouth call me? Mercy, mercy! This is a devil, and no monster: I will leave him; I have no long spoon.
    TRINCULO
    Stephano! If thou beest Stephano, touch me and speak to me: for I am Trinculo—be not afeard—thy good friend Trinculo.

    STEPHANO
    If thou beest Trinculo, come forth: I’ll pull thee by the lesser legs: if any be Trinculo’s legs, these are they. Thou art very Trinculo indeed! How camest thou to be the siege of this moon-calf? can he vent Trinculos?
    TRINCULO
    I took him to be killed with a thunder-stroke. But art thou not drowned, Stephano? I hope now thou art not drowned. Is the storm overblown? I hid me under the dead moon-calf’s gaberdine for fear of the storm. And art thou living, Stephano? O
    Stephano, two Neapolitans ’scaped!
    STEPHANO
    Prithee, do not turn me about; my stomach is not constant.

    CALIBAN
    These be fine things, an if they be not sprites.
    That’s a brave god and bears celestial liquor.
    I will kneel to him.

    STEPHANO
    How didst thou ’scape? How camest thou hither? swear by this bottle how thou camest hither. I escaped upon a butt of sack which the sailors heaved o’erboard, by this bottle; which I made of the bark of a tree with mine own hands since I was cast ashore.

    CALIBAN
    I’ll swear upon that bottle to be thy true subject; for the liquor is not earthly.
    STEPHANO
    Here; swear then how thou escapedst.

    TRINCULO
    Swum ashore. man, like a duck: I can swim like a duck, I’ll be sworn.

    STEPHANO
    Here, kiss the book. Though thou canst swim like a duck, thou art made like a goose.
    TRINCULO
    O Stephano, hast any more of this?

    STEPHANO
    The whole butt, man: my cellar is in a rock by the sea-side where my wine is hid. How now, moon-calf! how does thine ague?

    CALIBAN
    Hast thou not dropp’d from heaven?

    STEPHANO
    Out o’ the moon, I do assure thee: I was the man i’ the moon when time was.
    CALIBAN
    I have seen thee in her and I do adore thee:
    My mistress show’d me thee and thy dog and thy bush.

    STEPHANO
    Come, swear to that; kiss the book: I will furnish it anon with new contents swear.

    TRINCULO
    By this good light, this is a very shallow monster!
    I afeard of him! A very weak monster! The man i’ the moon! A most poor credulous monster! Well drawn, monster, in good sooth!

    CALIBAN
    I’ll show thee every fertile inch o’ th’ island;
    And I will kiss thy foot: I prithee, be my god.
    TRINCULO
    By this light, a most perfidious and drunken monster! when ’s god’s asleep, he’ll rob his bottle.
    CALIBAN
    I’ll kiss thy foot; I’ll swear myself thy subject.
    STEPHANO
    Come on then; down, and swear.

    TRINCULO
    I shall