Free The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism by Olivia Fox Cabane Page A

this unfortunate, unpleasant experience is absolutely perfect just as it is—the insomnia, the nausea, the fact that this is happening the very night before a high-profile assignment? In what way can this turn out to be absolutely perfect for me?
    It took a few minutes, but eventually answers began to arise. And I wrote: “Maybe I’ll somehow do well tomorrow and come to know that even sleep-deprived, and in a foreign language, I can still do all right. Maybe this knowledge will be key someday when I’m faced with an even more important assignment. And I’ll be grateful for having had the uncomfortable experience I’m living through now.”
    At first, these statements felt like sheer delusion. But writing them down (you’ll learn why this is important) opened up a little window of possibility in my mind. I continued to write all the possible upsides of this unfortunate experience. I made this new reality as detailed and sensory-rich as possible: describing what I said, what the audience looked like, when and how they nodded and laughed throughout my speech. As the list grew longer, I felt my anxiety subside. Eventually, my calm turned into drowsiness, and—hallelujah—I headed back to bed, albeit for less than an hour of sleep.
    And you know what? Every bit of the slightly delusional, impossibly good version of reality that I’d dreamed up the night before came true. The speech went brilliantly, the audience of senior executives was enthusiastic, and the CEO was thrilled. Nowadays, whenever my mind starts to worry because things aren’t quite perfect before an important speech, I remind myself:
Remember Bogotá.
    Since then, I’ve often used the rewriting reality technique to get into a better-performing mental state, and I now give it to all my coaching clients. Not only does it work for them, but I’ve met many other highly successful people over the years who’ve told me they use similar techniques. One charismatic entrepreneur told me: “I
decide
to interpret everything favorably toward myself. It’s not just that I’m optimistic, I’m actually conveniently deluded.”
    Why does this work? Once again, we can thank the brain’s tendency to accept imagination as reality. A study conducted by the Harvard Medical School suggests that deception may not be necessary for the placebo effect to take hold; it may work its wonders even when people know full well that they’re taking a placebo. 5
    So when a difficult experience arises and risks impairing your charisma levels, rather than trying to suppress or ignore your internal difficulties, consider a few alternate versions of reality. Conjure a few different scenarios that would induce you into a more useful mental state.
    Of course, the most useful alternate reality is not necessarily the most pleasant. When my publishers gave me a year to write the book you’re now holding, I wanted to progress as efficiently as possible, avoiding the procrastination pitfalls that ensnare so many first-time authors. One author friend reminded me of a maxim called Parkinson’s Law: “Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.” He challenged me: “Rather than letting the writing process fill the entire year, try to write the entire book in one month. At the end of a month, what you have will certainly not be a finished book, but it’ll be more than you would have without this self-imposed deadline.”
    This seemed sensible, so I decided to give it a try. I imagined—as vividly as possible, with sensory-rich details—that my publisher had somehow given me an insane one-month deadline to write the entire book. And I was amazed at how fast this completely imaginary deadline became emotionally real. I even felt a knot in the pit of my stomach, a physical reminder that the clock was ticking.
    Was this pleasant? Definitely not. Effective? Absolutely. Within one month, I was able to send one-third of the rough draft to my editor. Though this was far