Free Beyond the Past by Carly Fall Page B

kitchen window. The solitude felt wonderful, but now that his head had cleared from the booze—which surprisingly, he did not miss—his mind held him hostage with thoughts of Gabby.
    The sun finally peeked through the clouds. A few birds chirped, breaking the silence. He once again thought of how much Gabby would love the cabin. She would thrive on the peace and solitude, and he could picture her curled up on the couch, cuddled under a blanket, reading a book while sipping a glass of Merlot or some of her favorite chamomile and vanilla tea. He imagined walking over to her and sitting on the opposite end of the couch. She would smile at him, his heart would warm, and she’d push her feet in his direction. Lovingly, he would slowly massage them as she set down her book. They’d talk in quiet tones about nothing, and eventually, he’d scoot over on the couch so her legs laid over his lap, and he’d massage them all they way up to her hips. He’d lean down to kiss her and gently rub between her legs. She’d wrap her arms around his neck, pulling him down flush on top of her, and she’d spread her thighs as his body covered hers.
    The coffee pot hissed, breaking his reverie. He pulled a large mug out of the cupboard and filled it to the top. The black liquid burned his lips and tongue, but warmed his stomach. After grabbing an apple, he ate it in four large bites, downed the rest of his coffee, and decided to run up to the hill where he and Garrett had gone. Once there, he’d do some more pull-ups, and then come home and chop some wood. After that, he’d reward himself with a steak and some scrambled eggs.
    After changing into his jeans, boots, and coat, he stepped out into the cold morning. Because he’d lived in Montana for so long, he knew the smell of incoming snow, and he definitely detected a twinge of it in the Nevada air as he inhaled.
    He took off down the driveway around the pond and up the hill, keeping his pace slow and steady as the air seared his lungs. The muscles in his legs burned as he trudged upward, trying to stay in the footsteps from the day before. Finally, he reached the tree and bent over while resting his hands on his knees. As he tried to control his breathing, he heard a branch snap to his right.
    About a thirty feet away stood a doe and her fawn. He slowly sunk to his knees as he watched them gracefully walk over snow-covered bushes and fallen trees, their white chests blending in perfectly with the snow. The doe came to a halt, the baby right behind her. She glanced around, her ears twitching in all directions as she surveyed the area. Lucas smiled at the raw beauty, thinking that Gabby would love to see it. In the commune, they’d often had visits from wildlife, and Gabby had always squealed in delight when the deer came through. He could imagine her gasps of happiness if she were next to him now.
    His leg started to cramp and he shifted his weight. The doe froze for a moment, glanced his way, and then galloped off in the other direction, her fawn right beside her.
    Lucas stood. He and Gabby had always wanted kids, although she’d probably yearned for them more than he did. They had tried, but hadn’t been successful in two years. It would have been a perfect time after his discharge, but he hadn’t been able to hold his shit together. He recalled the last time they’d made love before he left. He had never wanted the experience to end because he knew he was leaving her. He had to keep the love of his life safe—safe from him and his crazy visions, and safe from the government.
    “I miss you, Gabby,” he whispered into the silence.
    The snow began to fall, and he reached up to the tree branch. Ten pull-ups later, he rested for a moment, and then banged out ten more.
    Exhausted, he pushed himself to jog back to the cabin. As it came into view, his eyesight blurred, the snow and trees in front of him morphed and waved. Seconds later, a vision came to him and he dropped to his