Free Nanny Piggins and the Rival Ringmaster by R. A. Spratt Page B

‘Oh, no no no. He is a very wicked man. He kidnapped me all those years ago. He told me he had a packet of peanuts in the back of his cargo ship if I just cared to look, and by the time I finished eating them we had set sail for Mauritius.’
    ‘Typical,’ said Nanny Piggins, shaking her head.
    ‘And whenever he wants me to do something really dangerous like jump through a flaming hoop or ride a really tiny bicycle without wearing a helmet, he whips a mouse out of his pocket to scare me,’ complained Esmeralda.
    ‘She is afraid of mice?’ whispered Samantha.
    ‘A very rude mouse once yelled at her using some extremely crude language and she has been terrified of mice ever since,’ explained Boris.
    ‘But I don’t understand,’ said Derrick. ‘If the Ringmaster has been so wicked to you, why are you upset he is gone?’
    ‘Upset?’ asked Esmeralda. ‘Yes … why?’ She sipped her hot chocolate as she tried to remember. ‘Oh yes, I remember. Because it’s so boring.’
    ‘Boring?’ asked Nanny Piggins.
    ‘Yes, boring,’ said Esmeralda. ‘Ever since he’s gone no-one has been kidnapped, we’ve all been paid every week and there haven’t been any serious injuries as a result of him selling the essential safety equipment. It’s positively tedious.’
    ‘It does sound a little dull,’ admitted Nanny Piggins.
    ‘It’s like having a normal job,’ said Esmeralda.
    ‘Urgh,’ shuddered Nanny Piggins.
    ‘Exactly,’ agreed Esmeralda.
    ‘But surely there’s still the thrill of performing in front of the crowd?’ asked Samantha.
    ‘That’s just it,’ explained Esmeralda. ‘The crowds have stopped coming. Barely anybody turns up now. Don’t get me wrong, Rosalind is trying her best to run the circus, but a bearded lady just doesn’t have the right skill set. She doesn’t have the Ringmaster’s … what’s the right word?’
    ‘Showmanship?’ guessed Derrick.
    ‘Flare?’ guessed Michael.
    ‘Panache?’ guessed Samantha.
    ‘She’s not a big lying crook?’ guessed Nanny Piggins.
    ‘That’s it!’ agreed Esmeralda. ‘The Ringmaster had such a knack of making everything soundexciting with exaggerated publicity. Then he makes the show live up to the audience’s expectations by setting something or somebody on fire when everybody least expects it.’
    ‘I remember the time he set fire to my cannon,’ reminisced Nanny Piggins.
    ‘Oh yes, that was a good one,’ agreed Boris. ‘When your cannon exploded it was spectacular. And when you chased the Ringmaster around the Big Top, whacking him on the bottom with his own riding crop, it was even better.’
    ‘Such a big bottom, it was no chore,’ said Nanny Piggins.
    ‘If you are unhappy at the circus, why did you come here?’ asked Derrick. ‘This is just the suburbs. It’s hardly very glamorous.’
    ‘Oh I knew if Sarah was here there would be excitement,’ said Esmeralda. ‘I might not remember much but I know that wherever Sarah is, fun is sure to follow.’
    ‘Well, you must stay and be our guest until you decide what you want to do next,’ said Nanny Piggins graciously.
    ‘But, Nanny Piggins,’ said Samantha, ‘what about Father?’
    ‘What about him?’ asked Nanny Piggins.
    ‘What will he say when he sees an African elephant in his house?’ asked Michael.
    ‘He hasn’t noticed Boris living in the shed,’ said Nanny Piggins, ‘so why would he notice Esmeralda?’
    ‘She’s much bigger,’ said Samantha, turning to Esmeralda. ‘Excuse me, but you are.’
    ‘It’s all right, African elephants aren’t thin-skinned,’ said Esmeralda. ‘You’re thinking of rhinoceroses.’
    ‘Physically Esmeralda may be a trifle larger than Boris,’ conceded Nanny Piggins, ‘but she is much less prone to bursting into ballet. So, if anything, I think your father is even less likely to notice her.’

    And, as ever, Nanny Piggins’ prediction proved to be correct. Over the following week, Mr Green did not notice the African