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Authors: Kirby Crow
Tags: Fiction, General, Science-Fiction, Romance, Gay, Fantasy, Epic, Imaginary places, Gay Men, Outlaws
returned to his place on his bed. Several minutes crawled by, wherein Liall would not speak of the messenger and Peysho would not ask.
"Kio will be annoyed with me," Liall observed.
"With me, more like." Peysho supped his beer. "He's not used to sleeping alone."
"You should go back to him."
Peysho nodded agreeably but made no move to get up.
Liall looked at his knotted fist resting on his knee. "Do you have dreams, Peysho?"
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Scarlet and the White Wolf--Book One
by Kirby Crow
Peysho shook his head. "Nah. Not that I remember, anyways. What's the use of 'em? I got everythin' I want right here."
He probably means that, Liall realized. "Well, I do dream,"
he sighed out. "No one knows who I am here, my aman," he said, naming Peysho friend for the first time, for he had become aware of a deep sense of loneliness surrounding his spirit. "Not even you know, and you would not believe me if I told you. I never thought I would be in this rustic place, chieftain of a krait of unwashed bandit Kasiri. I am the foreigner here, with not a single soul knowing my true name.
In my dreams, they do not call me Liall."
"What do they call ye?" Peysho asked, but Liall only closed his eyes, recalling how deeply it had wounded him to give up his name. It was a pain he had long suppressed.
Nazheradei, echoed a boy's voice in his mind, entreating, and he could never answer for the shame that clung to his skin. The crime that he committed in that other life haunted every step of his feet, every breath, every word spoken or promise uttered.
I will never be clean of it, Liall confessed silently as he watched the embers of the brazier dying down to pale ash.
Never clean, nor free.
"It is of no consequence," he answered. "All that matters is who calls me. His name is ... is Nadei," he stuttered, faltering over it. "Every night in my dreams, Nadei calls me, but not to his arms. When I go to him, I see that he carries a knife. I am not frightened of him or the promise of ending in his hand, 71
Scarlet and the White Wolf--Book One
by Kirby Crow
and that is a great comfort to me. I go willingly, because in death there are no dreams."
Peysho was regarding him with grave worry, and for a moment Liall believed he had been very foolish to confide his flaws to a subordinate who would be justified in presenting his doubts before the krait warriors. In accordance with krait law, weakness was not tolerated in a Kasiri atya.
But when Peysho reached out and covered Liall's clenched hand with his own, Liall felt ashamed. Among the curiosity and doubt, there was genuine sympathy in Peysho's eyes.
"What c'n I do? Just name it and I'm yer man."
"Do?" he echoed. He smiled very sadly. "Go to bed, Peysho. This is the past I speak of. There is nothing anyone can do."
Peysho hesitated. "The pretty pedlar," he said. "Does he remind ye of this Nadei?"
Liall regarded him with surprise. That was too astute, he thought. And then: He knows me better than I realized. He tried to recall how many years he had known Peysho. Kio had been barely a man when they joined his camp and began traveling with them. That was five summers ago.
"Perhaps," he allowed. "He has the same fire in him, the same temper and pride. But I do not wish to speak of it. The pedlar is gone."
"He'll be back," Peysho said, very certain.
"That will be an interesting meeting."
Peysho clucked his tongue, shaking his head. "Watch out ye don't regret him, too, Wolf. The past has a way of playin'
over when ye least expect it."
72
Scarlet and the White Wolf--Book One
by Kirby Crow
Liall paled. "Good night, Peysho."
After Peysho had taken his leave, Liall put the box away.
Sometime in the night, he took the two items from it, dumped the box into the campfire, and walked away so that he would not have to watch it burn. There was no one on the path to the Sea Road and no yurts camped that far over. It was a good place to stand and clear his head, where he could just make out the glimmer of
"Kio will be annoyed with me," Liall observed.
"With me, more like." Peysho supped his beer. "He's not used to sleeping alone."
"You should go back to him."
Peysho nodded agreeably but made no move to get up.
Liall looked at his knotted fist resting on his knee. "Do you have dreams, Peysho?"
70
Scarlet and the White Wolf--Book One
by Kirby Crow
Peysho shook his head. "Nah. Not that I remember, anyways. What's the use of 'em? I got everythin' I want right here."
He probably means that, Liall realized. "Well, I do dream,"
he sighed out. "No one knows who I am here, my aman," he said, naming Peysho friend for the first time, for he had become aware of a deep sense of loneliness surrounding his spirit. "Not even you know, and you would not believe me if I told you. I never thought I would be in this rustic place, chieftain of a krait of unwashed bandit Kasiri. I am the foreigner here, with not a single soul knowing my true name.
In my dreams, they do not call me Liall."
"What do they call ye?" Peysho asked, but Liall only closed his eyes, recalling how deeply it had wounded him to give up his name. It was a pain he had long suppressed.
Nazheradei, echoed a boy's voice in his mind, entreating, and he could never answer for the shame that clung to his skin. The crime that he committed in that other life haunted every step of his feet, every breath, every word spoken or promise uttered.
I will never be clean of it, Liall confessed silently as he watched the embers of the brazier dying down to pale ash.
Never clean, nor free.
"It is of no consequence," he answered. "All that matters is who calls me. His name is ... is Nadei," he stuttered, faltering over it. "Every night in my dreams, Nadei calls me, but not to his arms. When I go to him, I see that he carries a knife. I am not frightened of him or the promise of ending in his hand, 71
Scarlet and the White Wolf--Book One
by Kirby Crow
and that is a great comfort to me. I go willingly, because in death there are no dreams."
Peysho was regarding him with grave worry, and for a moment Liall believed he had been very foolish to confide his flaws to a subordinate who would be justified in presenting his doubts before the krait warriors. In accordance with krait law, weakness was not tolerated in a Kasiri atya.
But when Peysho reached out and covered Liall's clenched hand with his own, Liall felt ashamed. Among the curiosity and doubt, there was genuine sympathy in Peysho's eyes.
"What c'n I do? Just name it and I'm yer man."
"Do?" he echoed. He smiled very sadly. "Go to bed, Peysho. This is the past I speak of. There is nothing anyone can do."
Peysho hesitated. "The pretty pedlar," he said. "Does he remind ye of this Nadei?"
Liall regarded him with surprise. That was too astute, he thought. And then: He knows me better than I realized. He tried to recall how many years he had known Peysho. Kio had been barely a man when they joined his camp and began traveling with them. That was five summers ago.
"Perhaps," he allowed. "He has the same fire in him, the same temper and pride. But I do not wish to speak of it. The pedlar is gone."
"He'll be back," Peysho said, very certain.
"That will be an interesting meeting."
Peysho clucked his tongue, shaking his head. "Watch out ye don't regret him, too, Wolf. The past has a way of playin'
over when ye least expect it."
72
Scarlet and the White Wolf--Book One
by Kirby Crow
Liall paled. "Good night, Peysho."
After Peysho had taken his leave, Liall put the box away.
Sometime in the night, he took the two items from it, dumped the box into the campfire, and walked away so that he would not have to watch it burn. There was no one on the path to the Sea Road and no yurts camped that far over. It was a good place to stand and clear his head, where he could just make out the glimmer of