Free One Word From God Can Change Your Family by Kenneth Copeland, Gloria Copeland Page A

it.”
    True love is God’s love. It’s the kind of love that desires the best and highest for every individual. To let foolishness or anything else stand between a child and God’s best for his life is not true love.
Plug the Loophole of Neglect
    The rampant child abuse of our day is another major hindrance to proper correction. There are different kinds of abuse—sexual, verbal, physical and emotional—and they are all horrible.
    But let me suggest another form of abuse that people often overlook—neglect. It is the failure to provide loving correction, as we’re instructed in the Word. Proverbs 23:13 says, “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die” (New International Version).
    That word “punish” does not mean punching or thrashing or knocking a child around. It means to hit with a reed-like instrument. Perhaps the closest thing to it is a piece of cane with the end burned so that it is smooth—something flexible enough to sting, but not to injure.
    Don’t use a paddle made of wood that is not flexible and can possibly injure a child. And don’t use your hands to smack your child. Remember, your hands are made to love, not to correct.
    The point is that you want to start young enough with your children so they learn that you give them correction because you love them. You want them to learn to receive correction and learn the value of obeying promptly.
Plug Up the Loophole of Laziness
    As important as the proper use of the rod is, there is much more to positive correction than the sting of a spanking. Positive, Bible correction. It takes time—time to make sure the child understands what he or she has done wrong, and time for repentance and restoration.
    This means parents must plug the loophole of laziness in their own lives. The reason we often don’t like to correct our children is because we’re so busy. We’re always in the middle of something when the need for correction arises. We want to speed through the correction and get it over with quickly.
    But true correction cannot be done quickly, because it is not punishment. It is ministry to the soul of the child—and each child is different. When my son Timothy was much younger, he usually knew when he had done wrong. He would just say, “Hey, I know” and receive his correction. But his brother, Michael, always had a defense. You had to take the time to prove to him that he had gone against God’s Word. Once you had done that, then he submitted.
    It takes time to make sure your child knows he or she has sinned. It also takes time to make sure they have received the correction in their hearts. Don’t let a child go back to playing with a bad attitude. Make sure they’ve truly understood. I test this by having them hug me after I correct them. If they hug me like a sack of potatoes, I spend more time with the correction, I remind them that I love them and look for them to receive the correction. A child who does not receive the correction in his heart has not been trained in anything. Nothing eternal has been imparted into his life—nothing that will help him succeed in life as a Christian and as a contributor to society.
    I taught my children that once we deal with the correction, it is finished. When our relationship is back together and we go outside that bedroom door, I’m not holding anything against them and they are not holding anything against me. That’s why their hug is so important.
Plug the Loophole of Multiple Warnings
    Parents can also fall into the trap of taking action only after issuing continual warnings, or after reaching the point of personal anger or frustration. The reason so many children don’t obey until their parents have asked them four or five times, or until their parents become angry and threaten them, is that they have been trained to wait until then.
    Children learn quickly when their parents really mean what they say. They will transfer that to their