youngâs man game,â heâd say. Steam from two hot mugs of green tea fogged up the glasses on Howardâs round face, magnifying two of the kindest eyes Carrie had ever seen.
âYour mom will be home in a bit, but you and I can catch up.â
When the soup was ready, Howard sat at the table. Carrie joined him. The tea was a perfect temperature, and the soup smelled savory and delicious. Carrie had been living off cafeteria food for so long sheâd all but forgotten what home cooking tasted like. She took a sip of tea.
âYour hands are shaking,â her father said. âI know itâs hard to see your brother like this.â
Carrie set her tea down. âItâs not just Adam, Dad.â
Dad.
The word was a safety net. It allowed Carrie to let everything out. Her eyes closed tight, a sob escaping, and tears streamed down her cheeks.
Howard pulled his chair close and put his arms around her. âWhatâs going on, honey?â
Carrie took a few ragged breaths. âSomething really awful happened.â¦â
It was not an easy story to tell. For most of it, Carrie struggled to get the words out. At first she cried a lot, breathing hard, short of breath, but eventually she settled and managed to tell it all.
Howard looked impressed as Carrie recounted Bethâs surgery and the DIC episode. Details about Leonâs surgery were fuzzier, perhaps because Carrie had blocked them out, but she remembered Dr. Metcalfâs worried expression as he tried to locate the tumor.
Howard did not flinch when Carrie revealed her mistake. His eyes held no trace of judgment. He was full of compassion when she told him about the meeting that followed and her resignation.
Carrie could not have asked for a better confidant. Her father had spent years honing his listening skills. He had long believed that what a patient said, and how they said it, was sometimes more telling than the actual examination. These were skills that he had imparted to his daughter, and theyâd been working well. But even Howard, who always seemed to know just the right thing to say, looked at a loss for words. In the prolonged silence that followed Carrieâs story, he poured them both more tea.
âIâve let everyone down,â Carrie said, an all-too-familiar tightness creeping back into her chest.
âSweetheart, right now is not the time for advice or instruction. Just know I am here for you. And your mother is, too. And in a way, so is Adam. We love you, and weâll stand by you through all of this.â
Carrie embraced her father again, and Howard kissed the top of her head.
âTell me what you need. Anything.â
Carrie laughed because she could not believe what she was about to ask.
âWith my student loans and no income, I just donât have the money to afford my apartment. Not without a job.â
Howard nodded. âI can lend you whatever you need. Mom and I can cover your rent for a while.â
Carrie shook off that idea. âSome doctor I turned out to be. Iâm twenty-nine years old and I need my parents to pay my rent. No, thank you.â
âDonât let pride get in your way. Think of it as a loan.â
Carrie tossed her hands in the air. âItâs not pride. Itâs practicality. How am I going to repay it?â she asked. âI donât know what Iâm going to do. Iâm completely lost here.â
âThen donât repay it.â
Carrie shook her head again. âI canât accept that. Not without a plan. It wouldnât feel right to me. I might not even want to stay in town. Maybe I need to go get a research job, something in academia. I donât know.â
âThen what do you want to do in the interim?â
Carrie sensed her father already knew. Again her thoughts went to Adam. They had taken two different paths, and yet found themselves at the same destination. It must be discouraging for her father to
Apryl Baker, Jonathan Yanez