Free Chrysalis by Emily Gould Page B

you're kind of cute." He gives me a sweet little smile. I'm starting to panic. "In a sort of crazy emo way. You looked so helpless when you asked; I felt saying 'no' might kill you or something. You seem different to all the guys I usually hang out with, the guys I usually go out with … "
    I can't think of anything to say to that, so I keep my mouth shut. It's what Charles would do; he always does sensible things. I sometimes wish I were more like him.
    There's silence for a bit and Josh is sort of smiling at me in a vaguely dopey way. Then he asks me the question:  "Why did you ask me out?"
    I take a deep breath and open my mouth to channel the Sensibleness of Charles, but for some reason, I start channelling Emmy instead. "Uh … you're hot. And a rugby player." I stutter out.
    He stops smiling a little at that which makes me feel relieved. And then at long last, the food shows up, and we can eat and get out.
    *~*~*
    The next day, I go 'round to Charles and Chelsea's place (except it's really Charles's place, since Chelsea just moved in when the whole baby thing happened). Thibby, one of Charles' oldest friends, is there as well. He's been hanging around more since Chelsea's pregnancy to give Charles a bit of support, and he's promised (or threatened) to beat up the father if he ever turns up. I've never understood why Thibby and Charles are friends, as they're so completely different.
    Thibby gives me a nod as I stumble through the door, then turns back to his computer. He's wearing a khaki T-shirt and his hair is currently bright orange. I ignore him because I want to focus on my problems.
    "Chels!" I yell.
    She comes out of the bedroom to meet me, sort of wobbling a little, and we hug carefully, because she's so large. "Ooh, Lukie! I heard you'd grabbed a hunk!"
     "I'm scared of him," I admit, although right now I mostly feel like a cock for messing up his date so badly.
    "Yeah, Charles said." She hugs me sympathetically and I remember why I love her so much. "Must have been crap. My advice is back away—back away fast—then run."
    "Because you've never been on inadvisable dates," Charles snarks, but she just rolls her eyes and ignores him. I can't ignore him, though; even if I don't have a crush on him anymore, he's still a bit intimidating, and I always feel guilty when he calls me out on shit or reminds me that I'm speaking crap.
    He does that a lot. I do it a lot, too.
    "Are you dating now?" Thibby peers over the computer and gives me a critical, slightly pissed off look. "How did that happen? You never get dates, you're too chronically shy."
    "What do you think of 'Kristabelle'?" Chelsea says to change the subject, waddling over to the sofa.  I help her sit. "Spelt with a K."
    I make a mumbled noise, and Charles yells "No!" from the kitchen. Chelsea tries to throw a cushion at him, but it bounces off the half-closed door.
    She pouts. "He thinks all my names are crap."
    "I'm not having my niece named Cristobel, however you spell it. What's wrong with a proper girls' name?"
    "Cristobel is a proper girls' name," Thibby points out from the computer, because he knows it will piss Charles off. I notice he's not making any suggestions, though, and I get the feeling this is a conversation they've had a good few times before.
    "He wants to call her Jane," Chelsea says, turning to me with a look of horror. "Or Ann. Ann !"
    "You can spell it with an E if you like," Charles shouts back, shutting the kitchen door to stop the smoke.
    "She's a special baby and she's having a special name." Chelsea starts to tear up a bit and I make soothing noises. "Something after a jewel, maybe."
    "Ruby?" I suggest, trying to strike a happy medium between names Chelsea likes and names that actually exist. The overlap seems to be depressingly small.
    "I thought Sapphire, but with two Fs."
    "To match her school grades," Charles calls from the kitchen, accompanied by a clang of kitchenware.
    "Amber?" I try, raising my voice above the noise.