Sometime in the night I woke up. I was naked, and Steve was on top of me trying to … penetrate me. I remember feeling a tearing sensation. It was that tearing that woke me up. I don’t remember the details very clearly. He had drugged my meal to make me compliant. The police report said I crushed his larynx and forced the particles of his nose. which I’d shattered, into his brain. They have no idea which of the injuries occurred first; both were fatal blows. I killed him. It was my fourteenth birthday.” She looked over her shoulder again. Shane was sure she was trying to gauge his reaction.
Shane let out a sigh. “So let me guess. The other two girls didn’t get away with their innocence.” He tried to remain as calm as possible after her confession. Tears sprang into her eyes and she shook her head. “Are you sorry you killed him?”
Again she shook her head. “I am,” Shane said. Jess lifted her chin in defiance. “I would have loved to kill the piece of shit myself,” he finished, and instantly the tension drained out of her. Her face became a mask of relief. The tears she been holding at bay began to fall down her cheeks, and a grateful smile touched her lips. What did she have to be grateful to him for? She was the amazing one.
“Whew.” A visible shiver went through her. “The juvenile Court ruled it self-defense. By the time that was determined, I had already spent eighteen months in a youth detention facility—juvie. Surprisingly, that didn’t turn out to be such a bad thing. When everything had happened, I was so afraid that Sensei would be disappointed in me for using his training to kill. For a while after I got locked up, I refused to do any martial arts. I just focused on school. I finished my freshman, sophomore, and most of my junior year of high school in that eighteen months.” Her voice had lightened. He was grateful that she had the worst of what she wanted to share over with.
“One day during gym class, the officer in charge announced that we had a self-defense instructor coming to class. It was Jirou. He volunteered his time once a week for the rest of the time I was there. He told me what I did was exactly what I’d been trained for. He was proud of me. He even tried to petition the state to have me placed with him. Single men can only foster boys, so they denied him.” Her eyes shone with love and gratitude for her mentor. Shane could relate. He shared a similar love and respect for his mentor, Gilgamesh.
“Ellen, that’s Eric’s mom,” she clarified. “She worked at juvie. Her job was housekeeping and the meal hall mostly. They let the staff take the self-defense classes if they wanted to, so she did. That was how she met Jirou.” A sweet smile graced Jess’s face. “They fell in love. When I was released, she took me in. Shihan Yamamoto, Aymee’s dad, had gotten cancer. He died before I was released; Aymee inherited her father’s part of the business. Aymee and I have been friends since my first class. Once I had finished business school and secured a loan, I bought Jirou’s half. Ellen and Jirou married right after Eric turned eighteen. They are in Japan now, helping with Jirou’s aging father. I miss them.”
He couldn’t take the separation between them any longer. Grabbing her arm, he tugged her around and back into his arms. He wondered how many people, if any, she’d ever shared that with. Pretty damn sure it wasn’t many. As Jess cried softly against his chest, all he could do was hold her, making what he hoped were soothing words into her hair. When she was spent, he lifted her chin to peer into her eyes, letting her see his understanding. He didn’t give her pity. She didn’t need or want pity.
“Remind me to never piss you off,” he jested, trying to acknowledge her strength and determination without being patronizing. Pleased to see some of the shadows lift from her eyes, he returned her half smile.
“Never piss me off.” She leaned into
Shane let out a sigh. “So let me guess. The other two girls didn’t get away with their innocence.” He tried to remain as calm as possible after her confession. Tears sprang into her eyes and she shook her head. “Are you sorry you killed him?”
Again she shook her head. “I am,” Shane said. Jess lifted her chin in defiance. “I would have loved to kill the piece of shit myself,” he finished, and instantly the tension drained out of her. Her face became a mask of relief. The tears she been holding at bay began to fall down her cheeks, and a grateful smile touched her lips. What did she have to be grateful to him for? She was the amazing one.
“Whew.” A visible shiver went through her. “The juvenile Court ruled it self-defense. By the time that was determined, I had already spent eighteen months in a youth detention facility—juvie. Surprisingly, that didn’t turn out to be such a bad thing. When everything had happened, I was so afraid that Sensei would be disappointed in me for using his training to kill. For a while after I got locked up, I refused to do any martial arts. I just focused on school. I finished my freshman, sophomore, and most of my junior year of high school in that eighteen months.” Her voice had lightened. He was grateful that she had the worst of what she wanted to share over with.
“One day during gym class, the officer in charge announced that we had a self-defense instructor coming to class. It was Jirou. He volunteered his time once a week for the rest of the time I was there. He told me what I did was exactly what I’d been trained for. He was proud of me. He even tried to petition the state to have me placed with him. Single men can only foster boys, so they denied him.” Her eyes shone with love and gratitude for her mentor. Shane could relate. He shared a similar love and respect for his mentor, Gilgamesh.
“Ellen, that’s Eric’s mom,” she clarified. “She worked at juvie. Her job was housekeeping and the meal hall mostly. They let the staff take the self-defense classes if they wanted to, so she did. That was how she met Jirou.” A sweet smile graced Jess’s face. “They fell in love. When I was released, she took me in. Shihan Yamamoto, Aymee’s dad, had gotten cancer. He died before I was released; Aymee inherited her father’s part of the business. Aymee and I have been friends since my first class. Once I had finished business school and secured a loan, I bought Jirou’s half. Ellen and Jirou married right after Eric turned eighteen. They are in Japan now, helping with Jirou’s aging father. I miss them.”
He couldn’t take the separation between them any longer. Grabbing her arm, he tugged her around and back into his arms. He wondered how many people, if any, she’d ever shared that with. Pretty damn sure it wasn’t many. As Jess cried softly against his chest, all he could do was hold her, making what he hoped were soothing words into her hair. When she was spent, he lifted her chin to peer into her eyes, letting her see his understanding. He didn’t give her pity. She didn’t need or want pity.
“Remind me to never piss you off,” he jested, trying to acknowledge her strength and determination without being patronizing. Pleased to see some of the shadows lift from her eyes, he returned her half smile.
“Never piss me off.” She leaned into