Free The Baby Bargain by Jennifer Apodaca Page A

right, the sex is great,
     but that’s all it is. All I ever was to you.”
    He jackknifed off the bed. “Damn it.” He found his pants, yanked them on. “Don’t do
     this, don’t make this ugly. Another ugly memory.” He had enough shit haunting him.
    She froze like someone had slapped her. Then without a word, she walked out.
    Fuck. Adam caught her at the door and saw the sheen of tears in her eyes. They didn’t
     fall, but she was hurting. He’d hurt her. Again. In that moment, he hated himself
     like never before. He should have stayed away from her. But he couldn’t bear her pain.
    He pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her, desperately trying to make this
     better somehow. “God, baby, I’m sorry. You don’t know, can’t know…” He trailed off,
     burying his face in her hair. The scent of her, sweet pear binding with the musky
     scent of their lovemaking burned through him. Not a sexual burn, but pure pain.
    “Know what?” she asked softly.
    He hadn’t talked about Brady in all these years. Not once. His throat locked up at
     just the thought of it. He couldn’t. Instead, he lifted his head, and gave her the
     only truth he could. “I’m not capable of being the man you want me to be.”
    Sadness emanated from her, but only one single tear rolled down her face. “What about
     the man you want to be, Adam? Maybe that’s what you should figure out.”
    He had no words for that. Couldn’t even remember what he’d wanted to be before Brady
     died.
    “I have to go.” She pulled from his arms.
    He nodded. It was better for both of them and he knew it. “I’ll walk you to your car.”
     He caught her arm. “Don’t argue. I might be broken in a lot of ways, but I will make
     sure you get into your car with the doors locked.”
    And then he’d be alone. The way it had to be. No matter how hard he tried, he kept
     hurting Meg. Even if he managed to tell Megan how he had failed his brother…how could
     she continue to care about him?
    His own parents hadn’t been able to love him or forgive him.
    …
    Megan’s head ached. Too little sleep, too many tears, and too much heartbreak.
    “You have to tell Adam about Cole,” her mother said.
    Megan sipped her coffee, thankful that utter fatigue blanketed her emotions. She glanced
     out the sliding glass door. Cole was outside playing with Hayden. The man had only
     been married to her mom a few years, but he acted like a real grandfather to Cole.
    “You make it sound so easy.” Meeting her mom’s gaze, she asked, “If you could go back
     and never have Dad in our lives, keep us from that pain, would you?”
    Catherine reached out and put her hand on Megan’s leg. “Oh, honey. Would you really
     want to go through your life being told a lie?”
    “Maybe.” She was acting like a child and she knew it. She just couldn’t seem to stop
     it.
    “I tried to shield you when you were little, but even then, you wouldn’t have it.
     You had to find out for yourself what your father was made of.”
    Even now, Megan cringed at that. And the times she’d found his checks with the notes…
     She shut down that line of thinking. This wasn’t about her, it was about her son.
     “I’m trying to do what’s best for Cole.”
    Catherine squeezed her thigh gently. “Are you, Megan?”
    She lowered her coffee cup. “Yes. What else would I be doing?”
    “Protecting yourself. You obviously slept with Adam last night.”
    Megan opened her mouth.
    “Don’t bother. I, and about a hundred and fifty guests, saw you and Adam on the dance
     floor. Many of them saw you kissing on the patio before the two of you disappeared
     across the golf course. Given that you haven’t dated in nearly three years, that caused
     quite a stir.”
    “I’ve dated.” Of all that things she could have said, that was what came out of her
     mouth?
    Her mom rolled her eyes. “Two lunch dates with different men. That doesn’t count.
     My point is that you care for Adam.