Free Miss Kane's Christmas by Caroline Mickelson Page B

shook his head. “Personally, I’d let the Big Guy handle it.”
    Carol pinched herself. No. It wasn’t a dream. Or a nightmare. Not yet.
    She dashed into the hallway and hesitated, listening for Ben’s voice. She didn’t hear him but she saw that the front door was unlocked. Without bothering to grab a jacket, she stepped out onto the front porch.
    When she closed the front door behind her, Ben spun around.
    His smile made Carol’s heart soar. He held the telephone in his good hand. She grinned when she saw he was wearing the sling his mother had made for him.
    “Good morning,” she said. “I heard you were trying to track down a puppy.”
    He nodded sheepishly. “Not having much luck though.”
    “Just leave it to Santa,” Carol said.
    His smile faded. “Carol, please, we don’t have to pretend that Santa is real when the kids aren’t around, okay?”
    Carol stared at him, confused. “So you haven’t changed your mind about Santa Claus?”
    “Well, I have, in a way. And you’re to thank for that. After we spoke last night I realized how happy the children were believing in the Santa myth. I mean, they’re little for such a short amount of time, right? Why not let them indulge in a little harmless make believe?”
    Harmless make believe. She shivered.
    “Let’s get you inside, you’ll freeze out here.” Ben stepped around her and opened the front door, guiding her into the foyer with a gentle hand on her back. “There, that heat feels much better.”
    Except that it didn’t. Carol felt numb. “What about your book?”
    “I’m shelving it for now.”
    “For now?” She’d been so very stupid to assume because he deleted his files that he had decided not to write his book.
    He nodded. “You made me realize how much Hillary and Patrick need me to be actually present, and I’m not when I’m holed up in my study typing away. I still think Christmas is a crock and little better than a hoax, but this year I need to focus on my children. You’ve helped me see that.” He reached out to stroke her cheek with his fingertips. “Thank you. For everything.”
    Carol couldn’t think of a thing to say. Fortunately Ben didn’t seem to expect her to because he wasn’t done.
    “I know I asked you to leave last night. I’m sorry, Carol. I panicked.” He took her hand and lifted it to his lips. “You’ve changed everything around here. You’ve brought the kids such happiness and you’ve brought me,” he touched his heart, “hope.”
    “Hope,” she repeated dully. His word choice was ironic considering that she felt utterly hopeless right now.
    “I was hoping we could talk tonight, after the party. About us.”
    “Us?”
    He nodded, and ran his hand through his hair, suddenly looking slightly unsure of himself. “Yes, us. You. Me. Look, I don’t want you to go. Not tonight. Not, well, not ever. But we can take it as slowly as you’d like. Just promise you’ll cancel your flight tonight.”
    She nodded, but only to make this painful conversation stop.
    Ben smiled. “Good. Now we’d better get into the kitchen and see what kind of mess my kids and your friends from the mall are making.”
    Friends from the mall? Oh, Jolly and Rapz. So he had seen them, and obviously he’d recognized Jolly, but he must have assumed they were actors playing Santa’s helpers. Just like he refused to believe her father was anything other than a retiree with a steady seasonal gig. She watched him walk into the kitchen. His willingness to ignore the obvious fact that there were two elves in his house was proof they belonged in two separate worlds.
    Carol covered her face with her hands, willing away her tears. She’d get through the party for the children’s sake. She’d act like her father’s daughter and celebrate the season with a houseful of Ben’s neighbors and co-workers.
    But she wasn’t going to cancel her flight. For when the evening was all over, and the house was clean and the children asleep,