Free Firestorm by Kathleen Morgan Page B

lack of participation. I suppose I just don't see this as an adventure. And be forewarned, neither does the femina."
    "But you both return to your home planet after cycles of exile," Rand sounded puzzled. "Doesn't that at least please you?"
    "I left for a reason," the monk tersely replied. "I've no wish to return, not now or ever."
    "And Raina? How does she feel about it?"
    "Why don't you ask her? Her reasons are her own, and none of my affair." With that, Teague reached over and flipped off the communications device, effectively silencing the increasingly inquisitive Volan. There was some comfort in the knowledge he could distance himself whenever he wished from at least one member of his party. Unfortunately, it was the least unsettling member of the two.
    He shrugged out of the heavy pack that, besides Rand's special carrying case, included a month's supply of dehydrated food, a water purification system, a stunner, a blaster, two changes of typical Incendarian desert garb, a small mining pick and drill, and special shielded transport sacks for the stone. Rand's pack was entirely self-contained and included a power source and nutrient system sufficient for a good six months. He and Raina, on the other hand, if their foray on Incendra lasted longer than a month, would be forced to live off the land.
    This was his last chance to back out of the expedition. Once on the Volan ship, there was no turning back. For a brief instant, Teague contemplated simply walking from the transport chamber and palace, never looking back until he'd traversed the Carus Mountains and reached Exsul. But no welcome would await him there. Abbot Leone had commanded that he cooperate with the king in whatever he wished.
    A sense of futility swamped Teague, overwhelming in its intensity. There was no way out, no matter where he turned. And that, if nothing else, should reassure him that he truly was on the path he was destined for. Yet why did some part of him—the weak, cowardly part, to be sure—still fear this journey? Why couldn't he just . . . accept ... and find his dearly desired peace in that?
    Yet that peace continued to elude him, no matter what formerly tried-and-true monastic rituals he performed. The memories of Incendra failed to fade this time. The horrors of that day, the shattering sense of betrayal and shame and failure he'd felt, returned again and again. And there seemed nothing—absolutely nothing—he could do to blot them out anymore.
    It didn't help that thoughts of the Sodalitas he must join with kept creeping unbidden into his mind. He'd heard it said, even as a lad, that Incendarians were potent only with their own kind, that they were physically attracted solely to their planet's opposite sex. He wondered if that might possibly now be affecting his response to her.
    Over the cycles, Teague had given little thought to the fact that, though he might find a particular female beautiful, he had never once felt the stirrings of desire. He had viewed it instead as a blessing in his particular calling. Then, he'd promptly forgotten about it.
    Yet still the niggling worry ate at him. Though Abbot Leone had granted him a temporary dispensation from all his vows for the course of the mission, Teague now wondered if there had been a subtle message behind that surprising indulgence. Did the old monk know of the potential temptations that lay ahead? Had Teague, in effect, been given permission to break his vows without impunity?
    The consideration angered him. Did the abbot seriously imagine that a fifth-level Grandmaster was so weak as to succumb to the sordid clamorings of the flesh, just because a particularly alluring female was forced upon him? The rest of the monks had fought the carnality inherent within all males—and they fought it every day of their life. He could do no less —- and still hope ever to feel worthy to stand among them again.
    A sense of anticipation, of eagerness for the battles ahead filled him. He'd been