Free Body and Soul by Roberta Latow Page A

was conducted on the floor of his office, across his desk, over the back of an easy chair while his wife prepared dinner, in his car, hers, in a compartment on a train. They never could say no to each other and the fear of discovery only added to the excitement. It became obsessive for them, and then impossible for them to stop. They had been intimate for more than two years when one afternoon, after reducing each other to sexual oblivion in the bed Ben shared with his wife, Eden realised they could no longer go on. Their longing for a life together was too great. The deceit was beginning to grind into her soul. Eden was not yet twenty-one years old and debasing herself at every opportunity to have sex with Ben. It was not enough. She wanted more of him than she knew he could give her. She could deceive Nora no longer and knew she could never break up Ben’s marriage, his home, lose him his place in staid New England society. That very night she told him, in floods of tears, that it had to be over for everyone’s sake. She was leaving him to save herself and her dearest hope was that they could remain friends. He told her then that that was impossible for him, and so she lost the man she loved and his family.
    Ten years passed. She tried to make contact with him several times but he would never take her calls. Then one day without warning he was announced by the doorman of her building in New York. Ben asked to see her. She refused but gave him her telephone number. He called and asked her to meet him for dinner in what had once been one of their favourite restaurants, El Parador. She agreed but arrived there with her current lover. As they all walked home together, Ben took her aside and told her, ‘You are lovelier than ever. I still want you. Meet me tomorrow for lunch then we’ll go shopping – Bergdorf, Saks, anywhere youwant. I want to buy you something lovely. I told Nora about my love for you, that I was coming to get you. We can take it on from there.’
    Jamie Worthing, her companion at the time, invited them in for after-dinner drinks. Ben never touched his, merely turned to Eden and said, ‘You won’t meet me tomorrow, will you? Come with me right now then and we’ll forget the years that separated us.’
    ‘It’s too late,’ was her only comment.
    ‘Ten years too late, is that what you’re saying?’
    ‘I suffered too much during those years without a word from you,’ Eden answered, a sadness in her voice that she remembered to this very day.
    ‘I’m leaving,’ he told her.
    ‘I’ll see you out,’ offered Jamie from across the room.
    ‘No, Jamie, I’ll see Ben out,’ Eden had replied.
    At the door she asked him, ‘Can we be friends?’
    ‘No,’ he had replied.
    Six months later he was dead.

Chapter 6
    The bath water was cold and that snapped Eden back into the present. She climbed out of the water, into a cream-coloured terry cloth robe, and went directly to bed. When she awakened it was dark outside and the telephone was ringing.
    ‘You’re settled in then?’ were Max’s first words.
    ‘Yes, and delighted to be here.’
    ‘There’s an edge of happiness in your voice. An enthusiasm I’ve not heard for a very long time,’ he told her.
    ‘It’s my attitude, dear Max. I have changed my way of thinking about myself and my life.’
    ‘You no longer feel invisible?’ he asked with genuine concern in his voice.
    Eden laughed and proceeded to tell him, ‘More a case of I’m through making myself invisible for others to ignore.’
    ‘You’ve come a long way in a few days. It’s grand to hear you speak of yourself this way.’
    ‘Even now as we talk, I’m finding it impossible to believe that I allowed myself to slide into being someone I never really was, only pretended to be. Max, you should have warned me that I was losing myself. Why didn’t you?’
    ‘Because I love you too much and accept you however you want to be.’ His voice was soft with feeling.
    They remained