righteous, gun down Earp and Masterson... an’ then you an’ your friend, who ain’t by no means Doc Holliday, is jest gonna ride your sweet way outa town? Is that it?’
‘Well, no – not exactly,’ Steven admitted. ‘No, I shall reason with them. I mean, they’re both intelligent men –
they’re bound to see there’s just been a misunderstanding...
I should think...’
‘Boys,’ said Ike, ‘seems to me like our young pal here could use a little help.’
‘Sure could,’ the rest agreed.
‘You see, Mr Regret,’ continued Ike, ‘to my way of thinkin’, it looks like we all got us the same problem: namely, how to restore your partner to the fresh, pure air of liberty...’
‘That’s right,’ Phineas agreed. ‘So’s we can blast the livin’ day...’
‘Shut up, Phin! So’s we can have a little talk, an’ find out who he really is. Because, if he really ain’t the Doc, like you say... well, we wouldn’t want to see no miscarriage of justice, would we, boys?’
Here he winked laboriously at all brothers within eye-shot.
‘Certainly wouldn’t,’ they assured him. ‘That would be too damn’ bad!’
‘So we got to think us of a plan.’
‘I’ve been trying to,’ said Steven.
‘Then you can lay off right now – ‘cause I just thought me of a dilly! It’s simple, it’s effective; and furthermore, it’s traditional! You boys know what I’m talkin’ about?’
They didn’t.
‘Well then, look-ee here: all we gotta do is get us a rope.’
They liked that.
‘Then we tie it round the neck of Mr Regret, here; an’
we lead him, like he was a hound-dog, to the hangin’-tree in front of the gaol-house. So then, if his friend don’t come out, to take his place...’
‘What?’ gulped Steven.
‘Why then, we’re simply goin’ to have to pretend to lynch you...’
‘Pretend?’
‘Why sure; unless somethin’ happens to get us riled –
like maybe, Wyatt an’ Bat tearin’ into us with shotguns, or some such... but no – they’d never do that, with you standin’ right there in front of us, would they now?’
‘Suppose they do?’
‘Well then,’ said Ike, reasonably, ‘in that far-fetched eventuality, we’d jest have to review the situation some.
Play it by ear,’ he explained, ‘where the knot’ll be...’
He sat back; like Napoleon rolling up the map of Europe. Yes, he was pleased with his plan.
‘Reckon it’ll work?’ demanded Billy.
‘Why, boy, don’t you ever read nothin’ bar Wells Fargo catalogues? Of course it’ll work. It always works. A man has to come out to save his friend, don’t he? Irrespective of any small, personal risk? I tell you, it’s traditional! So what do you all say?’
By a majority of four to one, Charlie abstaining, the motion was carried; and, mumbling something about frogs, Phineas lumbered off to find them a hempen neck-tie.
14
The Law and Doc Holliday
Upstairs, there was something of a strained atmosphere, as Dodo counted her winnings – or raked them towards her, like they say. She had learned all about poker at her finishing school; and the lessons had included a few modern refinements unknown to Doc Holliday, who was sore as a bear in a bee-tree in consequence.
‘Tarnation blazes!’ he snarled, having rejected his first choice of exclamation out of deference to the all-female company. ‘Ma’am, it would ill behove me to accuse a well-brought-up little lady, like your sweet self, of concealin’
wildies in her unmentionables, but...’
‘Then don’t!’ said Dodo. ‘Put up, or shut up! Want some more?’
‘Lady, I got no more! You jest cleaned me out! Reckon I’ll have to step down to the bar for a spell, and replenish my resources from the pockets of the sportin’ fraternity...’
‘You stay where you are, Doc Holliday!’ said his beloved Kate, snapping like an angry garter. ‘The Clanton boys’ll likely still be infestin’ the place, an’ you promised me you’d stay out o’
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