Free Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella Page B
Authors: Sophie Kinsella
always need moisturizer. It’s a staple, like bread and milk, and David E. Barton says you should never scrimp on staples. And apart from that, I don’t think I’ve done too badly. Of course I haven’t added it all up yet, but . . .
OK. So here is my final and complete list:
Cappuccino £1.50
Muffin £1.00
Notebook £3.99
Pen £1.20
Magazines £6.40
Leaving present £4.00
Egg and cress sandwich 99p
Coconut bath oil £2.55
Boots Moisturizers £20.97
Two cardigans £90.00
Evening Standard
35p
Clarins Neck Cream £14.50
Clarins Moisturizer £32.50
Beauty Bag Free!
Banana smoothie £2.00
Carrot cake £1.20
And that comes to a grand total of . . . £177.96
I stare at this figure in utter shock.
No, I’m sorry, that just can’t be right. It
can’t
be right. I can’t have spent over £170 in one day.
I mean, it isn’t even the weekend. I’ve been at work. I wouldn’t have had
time
to spend that much. There has to be something wrong somewhere. Maybe I haven’t added it up right. Or maybe I’ve entered something twice.
My eye runs more carefully down the list and suddenly stops in triumph. “Two cardigans.” I knew it! I only bought . . .
Oh yes. I did buy two, didn’t I? Blast. Oh, this is too depressing. I’m going to go and watch
EastEnders
.
OCTAGON —
flair • style • vision
Financial Services Department
8th Floor, Tower House
London Road, Winchester SO44 3DR
Ms. Rebecca Bloomwood
Charge Card Number 7854 4567
Flat 2
4 Burney Rd.
London SW6 8FD
5 March 2000
Dear Ms. Bloomwood:
Thank you for your check for £43.00, received today.
Unfortunately, the check is unsigned. No doubt just an oversight on your part. I am therefore returning it to you and request that you sign it and return to us.
As you are no doubt aware, this payment is already late by eight days.
I look forward to receiving your signed check.
Yours sincerely,
John Hunter
Customer Accounts Manager
ENDWICH BANK
FULHAM BRANCH
3 Fulham Road
London SW6 9JH
Ms. Rebecca Bloomwood
Flat 2
4 Burney Rd.
London SW6 8FD
5 March 2000
Dear Ms. Bloomwood:
Thank you for your answer-machine message of Sunday 4 March.
I am sorry to hear that your dog has died.
Nevertheless, I must insist that you make contact with myself or my assistant, Erica Parnell, within the next few days, in order to discuss your situation.
Yours sincerely,
Derek Smeath
Manager
ENDWICH — BECAUSE WE CARE
Six
OK, I THINK FIRMLY the next day. The thing is not to get freaked out by how much I happened to spend yesterday. It’s water under the bridge. The point is, today is the beginning of my new frugal life. From now on, I’m just going to spend absolutely nothing. David E. Barton says you should aim to cut your expenditure by half in the first week, but I reckon I can do much better than that. I mean, not wanting to be rude, but these self-help books are always for people with absolutely zero self-control, aren’t they? And I gave up smoking easily enough. (Except socially, but that doesn’t count.)
I feel quite exhilarated as I make myself a cheese sandwich and wrap it up in tinfoil. I’ve already saved a couple of quid, just by doing that! I haven’t got a flask (must buy one at the weekend), so I can’t take in coffee, but there’s a bottle of Peach Herbal Blast in the fridge so I decide I’ll take that instead. It’ll be healthier, too.
In fact, it makes you wonder why people buy shop-made sandwiches at all. Look how cheap and easy it is to make your own. And it’s the same with curries. David E. Barton says instead of forking out for expensive takeaway meals you should learn how to make your own curries and stir-fries, for a fraction of the cost. So that’s what I’m going to do this weekend, after I’ve been to a museum or maybe just walked along the river, enjoying the scenery.
As I walk along to the tube I feel pure and refreshed. Stern, almost. Look at all these
OK. So here is my final and complete list:
Cappuccino £1.50
Muffin £1.00
Notebook £3.99
Pen £1.20
Magazines £6.40
Leaving present £4.00
Egg and cress sandwich 99p
Coconut bath oil £2.55
Boots Moisturizers £20.97
Two cardigans £90.00
Evening Standard
35p
Clarins Neck Cream £14.50
Clarins Moisturizer £32.50
Beauty Bag Free!
Banana smoothie £2.00
Carrot cake £1.20
And that comes to a grand total of . . . £177.96
I stare at this figure in utter shock.
No, I’m sorry, that just can’t be right. It
can’t
be right. I can’t have spent over £170 in one day.
I mean, it isn’t even the weekend. I’ve been at work. I wouldn’t have had
time
to spend that much. There has to be something wrong somewhere. Maybe I haven’t added it up right. Or maybe I’ve entered something twice.
My eye runs more carefully down the list and suddenly stops in triumph. “Two cardigans.” I knew it! I only bought . . .
Oh yes. I did buy two, didn’t I? Blast. Oh, this is too depressing. I’m going to go and watch
EastEnders
.
OCTAGON —
flair • style • vision
Financial Services Department
8th Floor, Tower House
London Road, Winchester SO44 3DR
Ms. Rebecca Bloomwood
Charge Card Number 7854 4567
Flat 2
4 Burney Rd.
London SW6 8FD
5 March 2000
Dear Ms. Bloomwood:
Thank you for your check for £43.00, received today.
Unfortunately, the check is unsigned. No doubt just an oversight on your part. I am therefore returning it to you and request that you sign it and return to us.
As you are no doubt aware, this payment is already late by eight days.
I look forward to receiving your signed check.
Yours sincerely,
John Hunter
Customer Accounts Manager
ENDWICH BANK
FULHAM BRANCH
3 Fulham Road
London SW6 9JH
Ms. Rebecca Bloomwood
Flat 2
4 Burney Rd.
London SW6 8FD
5 March 2000
Dear Ms. Bloomwood:
Thank you for your answer-machine message of Sunday 4 March.
I am sorry to hear that your dog has died.
Nevertheless, I must insist that you make contact with myself or my assistant, Erica Parnell, within the next few days, in order to discuss your situation.
Yours sincerely,
Derek Smeath
Manager
ENDWICH — BECAUSE WE CARE
Six
OK, I THINK FIRMLY the next day. The thing is not to get freaked out by how much I happened to spend yesterday. It’s water under the bridge. The point is, today is the beginning of my new frugal life. From now on, I’m just going to spend absolutely nothing. David E. Barton says you should aim to cut your expenditure by half in the first week, but I reckon I can do much better than that. I mean, not wanting to be rude, but these self-help books are always for people with absolutely zero self-control, aren’t they? And I gave up smoking easily enough. (Except socially, but that doesn’t count.)
I feel quite exhilarated as I make myself a cheese sandwich and wrap it up in tinfoil. I’ve already saved a couple of quid, just by doing that! I haven’t got a flask (must buy one at the weekend), so I can’t take in coffee, but there’s a bottle of Peach Herbal Blast in the fridge so I decide I’ll take that instead. It’ll be healthier, too.
In fact, it makes you wonder why people buy shop-made sandwiches at all. Look how cheap and easy it is to make your own. And it’s the same with curries. David E. Barton says instead of forking out for expensive takeaway meals you should learn how to make your own curries and stir-fries, for a fraction of the cost. So that’s what I’m going to do this weekend, after I’ve been to a museum or maybe just walked along the river, enjoying the scenery.
As I walk along to the tube I feel pure and refreshed. Stern, almost. Look at all these
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