Free All Better Beautiful (Payton's Heart) by C.A Harms Page A

complete selfish
immaturity and from him pretending that he even had any right to be involved in
my personal life I moved in toward him about two inches from his face,
"Listen Asshole I'm a virgin, tell me how I could possibly be pregnant.
You walk around pretending that you care...you only want something to do with
me when there's someone else showing me attention. You can't have it both ways
Dylan. Just stay out of my personal life. If I decided to lose my virginity and
sleep with every single guy I met well guess what, you can’t say a damn thing
about it. You walked away from me after I told you I had feelings for you like
none of it even mattered..." I pushed past him and opened the door to go
back in. I stopped when I heard him reply, " I was wrong ,... I shouldn’t have let you go. I'll regret that forever; I should have said that
I feel it too. Every day, every moment since you came back here the night Casey
went after you. I've regretted that I didn't tell you I have feelings for you
too. I just want to go back to that night and change the way I handled it but I
can't change it and I am sorry." Without turning around showing him that
he had gotten to me I simply said, "Yeah me too". I walked through
the door leaving Dylan standing in the garage alone.
     
    I hid out
most of the day with Casey trying to help her figure out how she was going to
tell her mom. She had decided to wait until after Thanksgiving to reveal the
news. I took a nap in the afternoon. Casey had left with Seth they were going
to go somewhere and talk. I went out into the kitchen after I had woken up to
ask Karen if she needed any help and found her with a group of ladies cutting,
peeling and preparing a number of different things. When she noticed me she
started to introduce me to everyone. I knew a few of them Grandma Dee, Aunt Mae
and a few cousins. We all talked like I had been in the family forever. No one
made me feel like an outcast or a failure. It felt nice to be included.
     
    Casey
came home late Karen was a little upset she wasn't home to help with the
preparations for Thanksgiving. They talked for a little while in the kitchen
before she came into the bedroom. She laid next to me for a long while telling
me about her day, her and Seth had decided that they were going to keep the
baby. I told her about me yelling at Dylan. It seems such a small problem
compared to what she was going through but she never made light of it. When it
came to Casey and I no matter how big or how small it may have seemed our
problems were always important to one another.
    Waking up to the smell of Turkey was definitely not
something I was familiar with but it was a new favorite of mine. All of Karen’s
family would be returning at 1 pm. I helped along with Carter and Casey to set the
tables and bring in more chairs. Dylan had been hiding in his room for the last
twenty four hours, avoiding me I am sure. I was okay with that because it just
meant that I could pretend for a little while that none of it had even
happened. There was a huge part of me that just wanted to walk upstairs and
tell him that I was sorry for saying the things I had said. The inner battle I
was fighting with myself was really beginning to ware me out. He made me so
angry but yet when I saw him all I wanted to do was be in his arms. My entire
life as far as I can remember I have waited scared for the next bad thing to
happen, over all the years of have never felt safe until Dylan wrapped me in
his arms the morning he and Karen came to that Farm house to get me. He was a
security that I needed and even if it meant I couldn't have him the way I
wanted him I still needed to know that he was in my life. Right now at this
moment there was a huge distance between us and I was terrified of what that
meant.
    I was standing at the sink washing my hands and without
turning around I felt him walk into the room. He never spoke to me or to anyone
he just opened the refrigerator and for a moment I held