Free Halfway Hidden by Carrie Elks Page B

know?”
    “So what happened?” Murphy’s voice brought her back out of her thoughts.
    “It wasn’t like one day he tied me up and left me for dead.” Her heart was starting to hammer in her chest, like the danger was still present. “It was a gradual thing, like that boiling frog story. The bastard knew exactly how far to push me every single time. And little by little, he took the power from me until my safe word meant nothing. He wasn’t a Dom, he was a sadist. A fucked up, messed-up-in-the-brain asshole.”
    It felt good to say those words, to spit them out for the first time. She’d never vocalized her thoughts about him before—never had the opportunity to. Knowing Murphy believed her gave her hope.
    “I think things got bad at work, or he got involved in something he shouldn’t have. He stopped taking me out for dinner and would hole himself up in the study instead. He sat in front of his computer for hours. When he came out, he’d be furious and expect me to do everything he demanded.” She cleared her throat. “The first time he didn’t stop when I used my safe word, he cried for an hour.”
    Her lungs felt tight, like they were congested. It was becoming hard to get the words out. “We talked about it afterward and I forgave him. I said we could get over it, but we didn’t.” Getting over it was an understatement. Things had gotten so much worse after that first time, the pain almost unendurable. By the time Rachel realized things were out of her control, it was too late. She’d already become his victim. 
    She curled up into a tight ball, like it would protect her from the memories. Talking about David for the first time in a year hadn’t done anything but make her anxious and fearful. Her heart raced at the thought of being made to see him again.
    It would end her. Emotionally, she wouldn’t survive.
    Murphy shifted in the bed, turning onto his side so he was facing her. She dragged her gaze down his smooth, rippled stomach.
    His voice was low. “How did you get out?”
    The need to have him close made her body ache. She moved toward him, wanting the protection of his warm skin against hers.
    “David went away for a few days. I think it was a conference, though by this time he really didn’t talk to me much. He used to keep me chained when he went out and left me a bowl of water in case I got thirsty.”
    Warmth flooded her cheeks at the memory. Lying there, next to a big man who hadn’t hurt her once, she wondered how she’d ever let herself fall so low. In her rational mind, she knew victims always blamed themselves, but rationality disappeared in the face of fear.
    Murphy pulled her closer. He was holding her so tight it almost hurt. She wasn’t sure who he was trying to protect: herself or him. She dipped her head into his chest, her voice muffled by his skin.
    “David was running late, bitching under his breath about missing the plane. I think he’d mislaid some papers, because he was looking in every drawer, slamming every cupboard. Finally, he found them and left, and in the heat of the moment, he forgot to padlock me. Even then, I stayed curled up under the table for an hour, convinced he’d realize his mistake and come back.
    “By some miracle, he didn’t return. I kept waiting and waiting, expecting him to come in and roar at me, tell me it was all my fault. I think the fear kept me chained stronger than the metal links ever could.”
    Her heart was beating like a drum against her rib cage. Talking about it was enough to change her back into Lucy Eversleigh, wife and victim.
    “Eventually, I crawled out of the room on my hands and knees and made my way to the bathroom. When I glanced up at the mirror, I saw this girl with a metal collar around her neck and a chain hanging from it. I stared at her, seeing her pale face and dark shadows, and I hated her so much. She was weak and pathetic, and I wanted her gone. Before I knew it, I’d ripped off the collar and threw it