Free Punished: A mother’s cruelty. A daughter’s survival. A secret that couldn’t be told. by Vanessa Steel Page A

although it still hurt, it didn’t inspire the abject terror in me that it used to when I was younger. When she locked me in the spider cupboard now, I knew that the spiders weren’t going to eat me up. I could just sit quietly, listening to the voices in my head while thinking my own thoughts. It took more ingenuity on Mum’s part to make me cry.
    But her next punishment would be the worst one she had ever inflicted on me.

Chapter 11
    D uring the summer term of my first year at school, I got home one day to find a new window cleaner washing our windows. He shouted ‘Hello, sweetheart!’ at me as I walked up the path, which made me very self-conscious and embarrassed, especially since he’d taken his shirt off and I could see his naked, suntanned back. When he’d finished, he rapped on the front door and Mum tottered down the hall in her high heels to pay him. I’d seen her freshening up her lipstick in the kitchen first.
    ‘I hope you’ve done an extra-special job for me,’ she said coyly, head on one side.
    ‘Course I have, darling,’ he replied cheekily. ‘I’ve always been one for the ladies, and you must have been a real looker in your day.’
    I could sense Mum stiffening with fury. Even I could see that she would take this as a terrible insult.
    She gave him his money without another word, slammed the door and disappeared into the dining room for a while. When she came out, there was a crackling energy around her and a scary expression on her face. Shesent Nigel to the family room and called me into the kitchen where she was preparing dinner.
    ‘I’ve got something very important to say to you,’ she told me in an ominous voice, folding her arms and staring down at me. ‘Stand straight with your arms by your sides.’
    I obeyed.
    ‘Someone has stolen something in this house and God tells me it was you.’
    ‘I didn’t, Mum. It wasn’t me.’
    ‘So you know what I’m talking about, do you?’
    ‘N-n-no …’
    She took a deep breath and placed her hands on her hips. ‘Mrs Ferguson came round for a fitting today. I made her some tea and went to the biscuit barrel to lay out a plate of biscuits and what do you think I found?’
    I’d gone red, not because I was guilty of anything but just with nerves and fear of what was coming next. I shook my head slightly.
    ‘One of the pink wafers was missing. The good ones that cost sixpence a packet. I couldn’t believe my eyes. There’s a thief in my own house. I didn’t want to think it was true but I spoke to God this morning and he confirmed that you took the wafer.’ She was quivering with self-righteousness, her eyes dark and staring.
    ‘Mummy, it wasn’t me.’ I was terrified of being accused of this very serious-sounding crime. This was worse than dropping crumbs on the floor or getting a spot of paint on the sleeve of my school cardigan.
    ‘Are you saying that God is a liar?’ She was winding herself up, getting more enraged all the time. Behind her a pot of potatoes was boiling fiercely, spitting droplets of hot water on to the cooker top.
    ‘N-n-no …’
    ‘So you admit it’s true. Do you know what the Bible says is the punishment for liars and thieves?’
    I shook my head and stared at the ground, more scared than I could remember.
    Mum looked at me with narrowed eyes for a moment, then she turned and lifted the pot of potatoes off the spiral electric ring, which glowed bright orange. Boiling water sloshed over the edge. She grabbed me viciously by the wrists, dragged me over to the cooker and placed my hands palm down on the ring, holding them there for a few seconds before letting them go.
    I screamed in shock although I didn’t feel the pain at first. Nigel came running in from the family room.
    ‘What happened? Are you OK, Nessa?’
    I couldn’t speak. ‘Get out!’ Mum ordered him sharply. ‘This doesn’t concern you.’ When he didn’t immediately move, she screamed ‘Go!’ and took a step towards him in a