Free A Game of Groans: A Sonnet of Slush and Soot by George R.R. Washington Alan Goldsher Page B

suit.”
    Ivan Drago grunted at Loly, then beckoned her to the chuppah. He nodded at the reverend and said, “Ooga booga.”
    The reverend nodded back and agreed, “Ooga booga.” He then turned to the throng of Dorkis and preached, “Booga booga boogity boo! Oonga doonga Ivan Drago bobbity bobbity bobbity Lolyta Targetpractice, Princess of Duckseventually zippity doo dah! Blahbitty blah blah, na na na na, hey hey, giggidy giggidy goo, zabida babida zabida KERBANGER!”
    The crowd then let loose with an almost violent cheer, after which the reverend motioned that Loly and Ivan Drago should kiss. Ivan Drago kneeled down and put his face an inch or two in front of Loly’s, seemingly nervous to make the first move. After an awkward minute, Loly grabbed Ivan Drago’s long ponytail, pulled his head close, and mashed her lips against his. Ivan Drago moaned, and his horse manhood became engorged with whatever the hell it was that coursed through the body of a Dorki.
    Loly and Ivan Drago broke the embrace, and then the crowd chanted in unison, “Oonga boonga KERBANGER! Oonga boonga KERBANGER! Oonga boonga KERBANGER!” Then they dumped bottles and bottles of Dorki wine over both of the Targetpractices.
    The Targetpractices both licked the wine from their respective lips, after which they collapsed face-first in the mud.
    The crowd went silent. Ivan Drago and the reverend stared at the fallen Targetpractices for a brief second, then the reverend nudged Vladymyr with his toe; he did not move. The reverend looked at Ivan Drago. Ivan Drago looked at the reverend. The reverend then took a breath and said, “So what do you think?”
    Ivan bent over and held his hand just in front of Loly’s mouth. “Perfect. Alive, but out cold.” He turned to the crowd and said, “Okay, they’ll be up in ten minutes, so let’s light this candle. I’d like to call to order the fifteenth meeting of the Brotherhood of the Committee of the Bureau of Dorkis for a Marxist State. The first item on our agenda was the last item from last week, and that is making a decision on our slogan. Me, I think it should be something about the group philosophy rather than us as a horsepeople.”
    From the middle of the crowd, somebody yelled, “Why? All horsepeople are equal! And equality amongst the masses is the whole point!”
    “I understand that, Ivan Bill,” Ivan Drago placated, “but if all the horsepeople are equal, what’s the point of mentioning them? That’s a given, so by focusing on that, we’re not advancing anything, but rather stating the obvious. If you’ll recall, Ivan Dave put forth, ‘History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce, third as epic fantasy,’ which I think sums up our philosophy quite well; we’re all about learning from our mistakes and making the future a better place to be where everyone gets to star in a chapter told from their perspective, even if they die later on in the book. Now what was it that you countered with last week?”
    “‘All for one, and one for all,’” Ivan Bill said.
    Ivan Drago shook his head. “How does that relate to Marxism? For that matter, how does that relate to anything ?”
    Ivan Bill explained, “It’s a simple dissemination of Communist theory.”
    A female voice called out, “ Too simple, as far as I’m concerned. And stupid.”
    Ivan Bill said, “How about we put it to a vote? Ivan Dave’s Karl Marx ripoff versus my catchy little line?”
    “It’s not catchy,” the female voice noted. “It’s stupid. If we want to be simplistic, why don’t we just use ‘Power to the proletariat’ or something.”
    Somebody yelled, “That’s Lenin! We’re Marx!”
    Just then, Vladymyr let out a huge snore, and Ivan Drago said, “Ahhh, crap. They’re getting up. Meeting adjourned! Hasta la victoria siempre! ”
    As one, the crowd yelled back, “Until victory always!”
    Loly sat up several seconds later, blinked into Ivan Drago’s face, and asked, “What