Free Ruining You by Nicole Reed Page B

Words fail me as my emotions almost completely immobilize me. I just
nod. “Come here, Jay.”
    Walking towards him, I let
the first tear silently fall. Coming to a stop before him, more tears drop, one
after another.
    “This is not your fault,” he
says motioning at himself. Looking away, I can’t listen to what he is saying.
“God damn it, Jay! Look at me!” His commanding tone surprises me so much that I
jump. He has never been that stern. Turning my eyes back to him, I look down
into his.
    “I’m only going to say this
once, and then by God, we are all moving on. That night, I made an error in
judgment. I let emotion rule my choices, and like an idiot, I got in a car with
a driver who was emotionally worse off than I was. My decision, Jay. Not yours.
I know how you got that whole self-martyred mind set, but sorry, this one is on
me. ONLY ME!” Grabbing my hand, he pulls me down until his face is inches from mine.
“You owe me though, for the hell you put us all through these past couple years
of worrying about you. That is the only thing you owe me for, and you better
pay up from now until eternity by living.”
    My voice whispers, “Cal...”
as my body vibrates with my mute sobs.
    “Damn, Jay,” he says pulling
me to sit in his lap.
    Letting it all go, I lay my
head on his chest. I can’t stop the sudden outburst of emotions. My cries turn
to wails as the pain bleeds out.
    Rubbing my hair, he whispers
back, “Shhhh…I lived, Jay. We both lived. That’s all that matters. Shhh…don’t
cry.”
    Time passes. I’m not sure
how much. Finally, my crying subsides, and I lift myself up. “I am so
sorry...,” I start to say before he brings his fingers to cover my mouth.
    “I’ve heard enough of
‘sorry’ to last a life time. How ‘bout we try something different?”
    He looks at me, and I say
the only thing that matters, “I’ve missed you.”
    Grinning from ear to ear, he
replies, “Yeah, well, I’ve missed you too.”
    “Is this permanent?” I have
to ask. I have to know. Pursing his lips together, he nods.
    “I’m paralyzed from the
waist down. I was mad at first, but then when you look at the alternative, I
guess I didn’t draw the short stick. There are days I wish I could choke JT out
one last time, though. Damn that boy. You know he didn’t listen to anyone for
shit.” His bitter laugh fills the room, but a lost look flashes across his
face. “Listen, we’ll talk later, but for now, I’ve taken enough of your time.
There are others waiting for you.”
    Slowly I stand up and look
down at him again. I don’t know what to say. My heart is breaking all over for
him -- for the loss of his legs and the loss of his best friend.
    “Ok, now you get to see my
mad skills at driving this bitch,” he says with a wide grin, breaking up the
melancholy.
    Now this is the Cal I
remember. A small smile forms on my lips.
    “I see that smile. C’mon
let’s go see who all came out to welcome your fine ass home.” Grinning, he
winks at me and says, “You know, I thought you’d come through those doors
looking like death, and I was going to have to lie and tell you how pretty you
were. So glad to be wrong.”
    He wheels ahead of me,
surprising me on just how efficient he is. Following him as he keeps chatting,
I head to the kitchen. As I walk in, I see my mother, Molly, and Reed at the
bar talking and laying out sandwiches. Cal’s mother is sitting with my
grandmother at the breakfast table, and they both stand to hug me. While
embracing me, my grandmother tells me how much she has missed me. I kiss her on
the cheek when my eyes narrow on the only other person here.
    Across the expanse of the
room, I see him for the first time in months. His dark hair has grown out
slightly, but those emerald eyes are as piercing as always. He is dressed in a
long-sleeve grey button-up shirt and black dress slacks that emphasize the
amazing body underneath. Kane’s eyes haven’t left mine, and the slight smile