Free Just One More Breath by Leigha Lewis Page A

the need to explain. “Shawn, I have no doubt that whatever could potentially happen here would be mind-blowing. But I do know that I’m nowhere near ready for it.” My tone was small and apologetic.
    I slowly started pulling away the hand that was still resting on his thigh. He quickly covered my hand with his, stopping retraction. We stared into each other’s eyes for what seemed like forever. We didn’t speak. Words were unnecessary. It was as if we were both aware that what I had just said was very true. I think Shawn was internally debating with himself as to what his next move ought to be. But, in typical Shawn fashion, he seemed content to just hold me. I felt safe. It was bliss to just be held by the precious friend by my side. Eventually, we both fell asleep in that position after nearly drowning in a sea of sexual tension.
     
    ~*~*~*~*~*~
     
    The next morning, I woke up covered almost completely in a warm Shawn Burns-sized blanket and it felt like heaven. I felt a stiff poking on my thigh and had to stifle a chuckle. The vibration of my chest caused Shawn to stir and after a few beats he looked up at me with a smirk on his face.
    “What’s so funny?” He asked.
    I shook my head. “I’m just laughing at the irony of this situation.”
    “What do you mean?”
    “The fact that I actually got to sleep with you, without actually getting to sleep with you.”
    We both laughed and I wrapped my arms around his neck for a hug.
    After making us breakfast, Shawn made good on his promise to drop me home. I floated around my house in a daze still reeling from what almost happened with Shawn. I didn’t quite make contact with reality until Zena stopped by before her date with Mason. At first, Zena seemed overly excited about the date, giving me details about the "special night" Mason had promised her.
    “He’s taking me to Morton’s Steakhouse for dinner and then we’re going to see Little Mermaid, the play, and he got us a hotel room in the city,” Zena said excitedly.
    I pushed back the urge to roll my eyes and pretended to be just as excited as she was. The plan was for him to pick her up at my house and drop her back here tomorrow, and then she would spend the night at my place and carpool into work with me on Monday morning. The visit that was originally supposed to be just a few minutes long quickly turned into an hour.
    “Has he contacted you yet?” I asked after I saw her check her watch for the fortieth time.
    “No, not yet.” She frowned. “I’m assuming he’s caught up with something,” she said, making yet another excuse for him.
    While we spoke, Zena was constantly looking at her cell phone or typing up quick text messages. After two hours, I knew that Mason wasn't going to show up. Even though Zena didn't say anything, I knew that she knew it too. It broke my heart to see my friend settling for such an undeserving piece of trash. He was constantly letting her down, and after a few meaningless apologies, Zena always forgave him. Mason was like a sick drug addiction Zena couldn’t quit. Sure Zena felt good when they were together, high off whatever lies he was feeding her. But I knew that once the high wore off, and the true nature of their relationship reappeared, there was no way Zena could be happy with the way she was living. Especially since I had witnessed the hurt and tears first hand on one too many occasions.
    It had been two years since Zena started dating Mason and he still couldn’t seem to give her the full commitment that she deserved. Everyone around her saw it, but it was up to Zena to realize that she was selling herself short. If the countless times he let her down weren’t enough to open her eyes, I really didn’t know what would do it. And as Zena said many times when I confronted her about Mason, “The heart wants what the heart wants.”
    In an attempt to salvage the night, I gave Zena something that she knew would cheer her up - a little bit of gossip.
    "So ,