Free Where The Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein Page B

getting a little bit
    Tired of he.
    And he may be a bit
    Bored with me.
    On movies and ladies
    We cannot agree.
    I like to dance
    He loves to ski.
    He likes the mountains
    I love the sea.
    I like hot chocolate
    He wants his tea.
    I want to sleep
    He has to pee.
    He’s meaner and duller
    And fatter than me.
    But I guess there’s worse things
    We could be-
    Instead of two we could be three.
    Me and him
    Him and me.

    I’M MAKING A LIST
    I’m making a list of the things I must say
    for politeness.
    And goodness and kindness and gentleness,
    sweetness and rightness:
    Hello
    Pardon me
    How are you?
    Excuse me
    Bless you
    May I?
    Thank you
    Goodbye
    If you know some that I’ve forgot,
    please stick them in your eye!

    ME AND MY GIANT
    I have a friend who is a giant,
    And he lives where the tall weeds grow.
    He’s high as a mountain and wide as a barn,
    And I only come up to his toe, you know,
    I only come up to his toe.
    When the daylight grows dim I talk with him
    Way down in the marshy sands,
    And his ear is too far away to hear.
    But still he understands, he ‘stands,
    I know he understands.

    For we have a code called the “scratch-tap code,”
    And here is what we do-
    I scratch his toe … once means, “Hello”
    And twice means, “How are you?”
    Three means, “Does it look like rain?”
    Four times means, “Don’t cry.”
    Five times means, “I’ll scratch you a joke.”
    And six times means, “Goodbye,” “Goodbye,”
    Six times means, “Goodbye.”
    And he answers me by tapping his toe-
    Once means, “Hello, friend.”
    Two taps means, “It’s very nice to feel your scratch again.”
    Three taps means, “It’s lonely here
    With my head in the top of the sky.”
    Four taps means, “Today an eagle smiled as she flew by.”
    Five taps means, “Oops, I just bumped my head against the moon.”
    Six means, “Sigh” and seven means, “Bye”
    And eight means, “Come back soon, soon, soon,”
    Eight means, “Come back soon.”
    And then I scratch a thousand times.
    And he taps with a bappity-bimm.
    And he laughs so hard he shakes the sky-
    That means I’m tickling him!

    RAIN
    I opened my eyes
    And looked up at the rain.
    And it dripped in my head
    And flowed into my brain.
    And all that I hear as I lie in my bed
    Is the slishity-slosh of the rain in my head.
    I step very softly,
    I walk very slow,
    I can’t do a handstand-
    I might overflow.
    So pardon the wild crazy thing I just said-
    I’m just not the same since there’s rain in my head.

    TWO BOXES
    Two boxes met upon the road.
    Said one unto the other,
    “If you’re a box,
    And I’m a box.
    Then you must be my brother.
    Our sides are thin.
    We’re cavin’ in.
    And we must get no thinner.”
    And so two boxes, hand in hand.
    Went home to have their dinner.
    TRUE STORY
    This morning I jumped on my horse
    And went out for a ride.
    And some wild outlaws chased me
    And they shot me in the side.
    So I crawled into a wildcat’s cave
    To find a place to hide,
    But some pirates found me sleeping there,
    And soon they had me tied
    To a pole and built a fire
    Under me-I almost cried
    Till a mermaid came and cut me loose
    And begged to be my bride.
    So I said I’d come back Wednesday
    But I must admit I lied.
    Then I ran into a jungle swamp
    But I forgot my guide
    And I stepped into some quicksand,
    And no matter how I tried
    I couldn’t get out, until I met
    A water snake named Clyde,
    Who pulled me to some cannibals
    Who planned to have me fried.
    But an eagle came and swooped me up
    And through the air we flied,
    But he dropped me in a boiling lake
    A thousand miles wide.
    And you’ll never guess what I did then-
    I DIED .
    BOA CONSTRICTOR
    Oh, I’m being eaten
    By a boa constrictor,
    A boa constrictor,
    A boa constrictor,
    I’m being eaten by a boa constrictor,
    And I don’t like it-one bit.
    Well, what do you know?
    It’s nibblin’ my toe.
    Oh, gee,
    It’s up to my knee.
    Oh my.
    It’s up to my thigh.
    Oh, fiddle.
    It’s up to my